New Year's Eve

Here we find ourselves again, sending out the old and ringing in the new. Counting our blessings and trying to decide what we want to work to improve upon in the coming year.

I can honestly say that all I've resolved to do in the last few years is find a new job and get settled in it and attempt to resume a life I never could have imagined would be interrupted. It's too soon to say where this new job will lead, but it's a) a job, b) new and c) mine.

Tonight when the clock strikes 12:00 a.m. I will count my blessings and resolve to count them some more. When you've worked so hard for so long and hold that elusive "thing" in your hands, everything else is the diaper on the Baby New Year.

Does This Thing Come With Instructions?

These two "Instructions" have come up on my Life's Little Instruction Calendar and I wanted to share them with you:

December 22nd:
Change what you can.
Accept what you can't.
Live peacefully with all that's left.

December 29th:
This coming year make time for good books, good food, good blogs and good friends.

(OK, I added the "good blog" part and I am hoping my blog falls into the 'good' category.)

In Between

I hope you are all having a great holiday and enjoying this week between the chaos of Christmas and the chaos of a New Year.

I'm just taking a little break but I'll be back strong in 2011, if not before.

The Job Gods Have A Sense Of Humor, But I'm Not Laughing

I had been out of work for almost 3 years and now, the day before Christmas Eve, everyone I know – and apparently everyone I don’t know – is home, snuggled in their beds, visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads.

I, however, am sitting at my desk drinking my coffee with visions of meetings and events in my head.

Fa, la, la, la, la . . .

Life Is A Revolving Door

I started my new job a week ago and one of the women in my office is leaving the company tomorrow.

Even though we do totally different jobs, it's the yin and the yang, the Circle of Life. She's excited about her new opportunity and seems more than ready to leave my new company. I'm excited about being at this company that she's so anxious to leave.

The next time you go through a revolving door, look at the people going in the opposite direction of you. They may be headed where you've just left or they may have left where you're headed. And if you keep pushing that door, you just might end up where you started or at the very least where someone else just was.

Give Me A Large Rock And A Chisel

You know you've been out of work a long time when you go to order office supplies to order a notebook to write things in with a pen and computers come up. Same with tablets.

Yup, That's My Name On My Office Door

I am struggling with a major case of uncomfortableness in the new job and I'm trying to analyze what is going on. Is it just returning to the work force after so much time? Is it the fact that I am, for the first time in my career, not the only Meeting Planner in the company? Have I lost my confidence? Is it because we're so close to the holidays? Is it because I don't feel like working at all?

Honestly, I don't think it's any of these things and yet I suppose it could be all of these things. The only thing I know for sure, Oprah, is that I GOT the job and these people seem to have their act together so I'm gonna go with the fact that they made a smart, smart choice.

I've already got the job. Now it's time for me to see what they see in me. And prove us all right.

Rejection Only Hurts If You Care

I received this email today, on my second day of work at my new job:

Dear Sister Rain,

Thank you for your interest in XYZ Medical.

Unfortunately, this email is to inform you that we have filled the Meeting Planner position.

We invite you to revisit our website to view future opportunities that may be of interest to you.

Please accept our best wishes in your career search.

Kind Regards,

Human Resources

For the first time in a long time, it didn't hurt a bit.

Who Is That? Oh, It's Me!

On my way to my first day on the job I stopped at Wawa for coffee. For those of you who don't know Wawa, it's a really great convenience store here in Pennsylvania and other close states.

Anyway, as I was pulling into a parking spot I noticed one woman get out of her car in sneakers and workout pants. Another woman also got out of her car but she was wearing nice pants, heels and looked like she was headed for work.

As I approached the entrance to Wawa, I saw myself in the glass doors. Today for the first time in a long time I didn't look like the first woman, but the second. And I barely recognized myself.

My Girl Scout Leader Would Be Ashamed

Here it is, the Eve before I start my new job. I've been saying since I got the offer that I needed to go through my winter work clothes (because it's been freezing here already oh joy) to see what fits and what I can still wear and now it's the night before and I'm scrambling. I found a few things and since that will get me through the next few days, I'm setting it aside again. What is wrong with me?

Also, I got a new passport when I worked in the summer for that other company and I need it tomorrow for my new hire paperwork and I can't find it. Let me explain to you, I can tell you where just about everything my husband and I own (except for his "man stuff") is in this house and the passport was not in its file. I looked through my files from my old job, I looked everywhere. Finally I looked in the "Jewelry" file which is right before my "Legal" file in my filing cabinet. Again, why am I doing this the night before the big day?

I was a Girl Scout and a mighty good one if I do say myself. I still have my sash (it's in the attic in the bin marked "Sister Rain's Childhood") which is full of badges and I remember giving lots of speeches while I was involved in the organization. And even though it's the Boy Scout's Motto, you would think the day I have waited for for three years would not be coming as such as a surprise.

Apparently this former Girl Scout's Motto is:
"Holy crap! I start a new job tomorrow!"

Now that they know where to find it, they make take away my sash!

1,000 Visitors Served

My blog reached 1,000 visitors today. It's quite a milestone for not only me but my job search. I started this blog in January and since then I've struggled through my unemployment, a new job that was terribly, terribly wrong, unemployment again -- this time on my own terms but not easier, probably worse because it was my own doing -- and finally a job offer and a new job that will begin in two days.

Once again, I find myself at a fork in the road with my blog. I love to write and I've found that I need to write, for my sanity and for my enjoyment.

So I'm not going anywhere. I hope you all continue to visit this blog as I enter a new phase of my job search. Because really, I'll never stop looking for the right job, even if I'm in it.

Thank you 1,000 visitors. I don't consider you visitors, but friends. Dear friends.

My Cup Runneth Half Full

Two more days until I start my new job. I was busy today with some final Christmas shopping and visiting with family. It's a different kind of time off for me now, I am way more relaxed since I know I have a job and yet now with each passing minute the clock counts down my remaining free time.

This is truly a case of half empty or half full. Am I sad to have to go back to work or happy to go back to work? Sometimes it really isn't about what makes you happy or sad. Sometimes it's about what is right at the time and what's right for me and my husband is for me to go back to work.

To every thing there is a season and to every glass there's a half full.

'Twas Two Weeks Before Christmas

'Twas two weeks before Christmas, when all through my blog,
Not much was happening, the job search covered in fog;
The resumes were submitted with cover letters in tow,
In hopes that a job would arrive, way before snow;

The business suits and heels were all snug in the closets,
While our bank account was waiting for larger deposits;
And I was in the fetal position, my husband snoring away,
While I prayed for a job, which had been kept at bay;

When the next morning the phone, it rang with a clatter,
I ran to it expecting a friend wanting to chatter;
When, rushing to get it, dropping what I was doing,
There was the phone number of a company I was pursuing;

With the area code and number, recognizable and bright,
I knew that the job search end might be in sight;
So an offer was received, both verbally and in writing,
With the salary and benefits, oh what a sighting!

I sprang to my blog, to give my readers the news,
And away they all read, like any friends you would choose;
And they heard me exclaim as they scrolled with the mouse knob,
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL, SISTER RAIN GOT A JOB!"

Christmas Has Come Early

I received a verbal and written offer yesterday for the job I've been pursuing. It's a good offer and although I haven't accepted yet, I'm going to. I've asked a few question before I accept, but I'm sure their answers will not change my mind.

It's such a strange time of year to be starting a new job, right before the holidays. Even though my house is decorated, the tree is up and decorated, the 1,500 cookies are baked, the cards are mailed, 85% of my shopping is done and I am bragging about having all this done, it still is a self-induced stressful time for all of us. So adding starting a new job on top of it is really cause my stress level to pop out the ole stressometer.

But we don't always get to choose the when or the where, the who, the why and the how do we? But I got to choose the what, and like a brand new bike under the tree with a big red bow on it, a more beautiful gift I could not have received.

The Offer . . .

. . . has landed!

I'd Like To Change My Wish Please Jiminy Cricket

One of my references was called this morning and talked to who is looking more and more like my new manager.

Is this what they mean when they say "Be careful what you wish for?".

Merry Status Quo

There's been some news in my job search. On Friday I got a call from the recruiter I've been working with on the job I had two interviews for. The second interview was last Monday and there were two other candidates they were seeing again. When I didn't hear anything as the week progressed, I assumed it was a holly, jolly "No".

On Friday I was making dinner and was washing a pot when our house phone rang. I saw on the caller ID that it was the recruiter and I made the decision it wasn't worth drying my hands to receive the holly, jolly "No" that I expected.

As I dried my hands and walked to our answering machine in another part of the house, my BlackBerry started ringing on the dining room table. The recruiter again. I listened to the message on the house phone, and the call was to let me know that they were going to be checking my references in preparation of making me an offer.

I've alerted my references and now I wait to see what happens next. I know they had wanted someone in the position quickly but with the holidays and all I'm just not sure how this is all going to play out. Until it does, I am attempting life in the "status quo". An offer isn't an offer until it's an offer so the decorating, the gift buying and wrapping continues. And so does the job search.

A Cup Of Perfectionism And A Pinch Of OCD

I've got some perfectionism issues mixed in with what I would diagnose as (playing a doctor on TV as I do) a SMALL amount of OCD. I’ve always known this but sometimes the signs smack you in the head like a 2' x 4'.

I’ve been decorating my house the past few days for the holidays. As I was looking around my house yesterday before I was done, with half-empty bins and their lids strewn about, with some tissue paper thrown in for good measure, with various incarnations of Santa and snowmen lying on the floor like the Gettysburg Battlefield, I mentioned to my husband that I had “way too much stuff”. His response, “Well, you always do everything in a big way. Just like the cookies.” I started to deny it and then I thought of the 1,500 cookies we made batter for AND baked in a 4-day period last weekend and then what really could I say?

Later last night, I was saying to my husband that some people put their decorations up exactly the same way every year. I tend to wing it although I know the general area where everything belongs.

This morning I went on my computer and checked the “My Pictures” file and looked at last Christmas. Lo, the angels said, I had taken pictures of my decorations last year. But I’m sure that I took them for enjoyment purposes, not for some deep-seeded need to have everything the same way this year as last year.

I do admit my philosophy, after don't dip your pen in company ink is, if you’re not going to do it right or do it in a big way, why do it at all?

If you apply this to my job search, you can see how a perfectionist like me has a problem with how it’s been going. I do it in a big way, just like everything else, and yet it’s never finished. I’m always having to tweak a resume here, redo a cover letter there but never can bring the project to a close.

I am many things, hopefully, such as loyal and loving and funny and caring. And I am a perfectionist. Just like the 28 sticks of butter and over 3 dozen eggs that went into all those cookies, it’s all part of the recipe that’s me.

Will Expire 99/99/9999

More decorating today. When will this nightmare end? Oh, that's right -- on December 26th.

I haven't heard anything about the job I second interviewed for on Monday. They had two other candidates they were bringing back and then were going to check references and make an offer. None of my references have heard from anyone yet. I don't know what their time frame is for doing all this but I know they had originally wanted the position filled by December 1st. That ship has sailed.

Not much I can do but wait it out and keep looking for other opportunities. I know when the Holiday Nightmare will end but this Job Search Nightmare seems to have no expiration date.

I'll Say It Again, I Need A Job To Get Some Rest

An email I just sent to my mother-in-law:

Hello Mother-In-Law Dear:

I received your voice mail and will return your call tonight. Right now, however, I am in Decorating Hell. Are you familiar with Decorating Hell? I think you are. It's not to be confused with Baking Hell, which is a whole nother kind of Hell. So you see, it's true. Hell comes in all different forms. There is Marriage Hell, which I've only heard about, of course, plus I'm just sticking to the Holiday Hells for the moment.

I'll give you a call later. I am headed up to the attic for the 6th time and it's not over yet. This is Attic Hell, or Stairs Hell, a subset of Decorating Hell.

Love, in Hell,
Your Daughter-in-Law

P.S. I am copying your son, my husband, so he sees what I do all day and the Hell I go through to make a nice holiday for him.

A Question Worth Asking . . . And Answering

I've been thinking something in my head (that's why they call it thinking you know) and have been hesitant to put it down in green and white (the official colors of this blog) but it's all I can think about so here goes:

TO BE READ IN A NON-HISTRIONIC, NON-TEMPER-TANTRUM, NON-FOOT-STOMPING MANNER, PLEASE:

Why can't I have the job I want? Why can't I? Why do I keep applying and interviewing for jobs I don't even want? I mean, I know why: because we need money and I need to work and times are tough right now. But I mean in a bigger picture kind of way, WHY CAN'T I GET A JOB IN MY FIELD AND WORK HARD AND MAKE MONEY? That's all I want. I don't expect or want a job I'm not qualified for. I'm not asking to be a super model or a physicist. In my mid-30s I finally figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up, so recession-blemession,

WHY CAN'T I HAVE THE JOB I WANT?

I Must Have Really Done Some Damage In A Past Life

I had a second interview scheduled today at 10:00 a.m. I left my house around 8:30 a.m. and sat in my car waiting for my car defrosters to do their thing. As I was sitting in my car outside of my house, I realized I had forgotten my GPS so I ran back in to get it.

I saw that my gas was getting low and if you have been a frequent visitor to this blog you know I have a little game I like to play with my gas gauge that is, quite simply, "E = Enough".

However, today I was not in a game-playing mood so I went to a grocery store about 5 minutes away to get money from their ATM since I only had $1 in my wallet. I realized, though, that I did not have my ATM card. And now the fiasco begins.

I had bought a new wallet a few weeks ago and took it for a test spin over the holiday weekend. What this means is I put everything in the new wallet, but left the price tags on a la Minnie Pearl and kept it in my purse. Last night I decided this new wallet was not for me and put everything back into the old wallet.

Last Friday I went to the grocery store for bread and milk (how Pennsylvanian-it's-gonna-snow of me) and didn't want to take my purse in so I just took my ATM card in my jacket pocket. That was the last time I remember seeing it as I was frantically backtracking in my mind.

I drove the 5 minutes back home and raced into the house. I was trying to be calm and was doing a pretty good job but all I could hear were the clocks in the house tick-ticking away. I checked the "new" wallet and it was empty. I checked the jacket pocket I had been wearing Friday. I checked our plastic bag drawer and by "checked" I mean I took each one out and squeezed the I-DON'T-HAVE-TIME-FOR-THIS out of each bag. No ATM card.

I ran upstairs (14 stairs) and looked in our office and bedroom. I didn't expect to find it there but you never know. No ATM card.

I headed back downstairs. I called my husband and told him the situation and try to do it in a not MY-WIFE-IS-CRAZY kind of way. He makes some suggestions but of course nothing he said was gonna to appease me because I was being crazy even though I really tried not to be. I told him I would figure something out.

He had suggested that I go go to our bank and fill out a withdrawal slip but I just didn't think I had the time to do that and get to my interview. I still had to stop for gas if I can figure out a way to get some money. But I have no choice, really, so I go back to the original grocery store and go inside because they have our bank inside. It was a few minutes before 9:00 a.m. and not only was the place dark, it was deserted. I left.

My husband called as I was walking out of the grocery store and reminded me that I had a credit card in my wallet. This may seem strange, but we have not been using credit cards while I've been out of work, so I don't even think about them. I managed to drive across the grocery store parking lot, where a gas station is, and get gas using my credit card.

NOW I can go to my interview. As I'm driving I think that I want to call the grocery store from Friday to see if anyone found my ATM card. While at a traffic light (sorry Oprah) I go on the internet to get the phone number. As I get to the grocery store's home page, my BlackBerry shuts itself down. In a few seconds it began to boot itself back up. When it was fully rebooted, I had "LOW BATTERY" in bright red letters at the top of my screen and the light that usually blinks red when you have a message was on steady like a laser. I charge my BlackBerry every night while I'm sleeping and lately this has been happening so either there's something wrong with the charger, the outlet I use or the battery itself. I plugged the BlackBerry into my car charger and head towards the interview.

I arrive in time, do my final primping, and head inside. It went well, I think, and I am proud to say I put my morning troubles behind and was able to focus on the interview. I will say though that even though I felt calm, I had dry mouth like I've never experienced before. My top lip kept sticking to my teeth, I kept swallowing to generate some type of moisture, I even licked my lips several times. They had offered me water before we got started and I am glad I said no because I probably would have been downing glass after glass like some kind of lunatic.

When I arrived home I slid my driver's seat back and there, under my seat, was my ATM card. I came inside and headed right to the kitchen for something one would drink in Civil War times to have a leg amputated. And the picture above is what I saw. My "bag drawer". One look and you understand my morning.

Did I get the job? Dunno. Sure feels like I ought to.

Thank You

When I woke up this morning I stayed in bed and took some time to give thanks for the many blessings in my life. My husband, my Mom, my friends (and I named them one by one), the rest of my family, my health, my home, my books, my gadgets and technology (we live in an AMAZING time).

And I thanked the Lord for this blog and those who read it. Being unemployed makes me a statistic, but having this blog and a place to unleash all the frustration and ridiculousness of the job search has saved me from being another statistic -- someone who completely falls apart in this tough economy.

So thank you for taking time out of your life to visit. I wish you a wonderful day surrounded by those you are thankful for.

Walking The Walk With Sand Between My Toes

I've been doing some day-before-Thanksgiving cooking today and just sat down to do some computer chores. I am tired and smell like fried bread (from the filling or stuffing depending where you are from).

My friend and I were saying today that mentally we both feel like it's still summer even though the calendar tells us we are wrong. The fact that I just prepped a turkey for its big day tomorrow is inconceivable to me and yet it's happening and both the turkey and I need to get ready.

Time marches on, Friends, whether we are ready or not. You can run, you can hide, but sooner rather than later you've got to face the roasting pan.

Hi, my name is Sister Rain and today is November 24th, not June or July 24th. See? I can walk the walk and not just talk the talk. But has anybody seen my flip flops?

She's Got A Good Personality But She's Not Going To Win Any Beauty Contests

After I published yesterday's blog entry I received an email from the recruiter asking about my availability early next week for a SECOND INTERVIEW! Yippee! So I am going Monday morning.

I asked the recruiter if he had received any feedback about me from the first interview and he replied that they thought it went very well and that they liked my personality.

I wondered if this is when a person of the opposite sex describes you as having a "good personality"? When what they mean is you are not physically attractive. When they might also call you a "Two Bagger" meaning not only do you put a bag over your head when you're out on a date, but your date does too! Putting this in the context of the job search, does this mean your skills are sub-par but they like you as a person?

I'm sure, or at least I'm as sure as I can be about anything in the job search, that they would not have me come back in just to have a social chat or play cards or talk pop culture. They are bringing me back because I have the job skills and people skills they are looking for.

I think. I hope. I pray. But just in case, I'll take my latest People magazine and "Old Maid".

Do You Think It's Infected?

Isn't it funny how the the things that drive us most crazy about others are the things we often don't recognize in ourselves? I follow several blogs and it makes me crazier than I already am that they don't update the blogs daily. And here I am, not having updated since last Wednesday. It's now Monday.

I've been unpurposely purposely been keeping very busy and trying hard not to think about the job and interview I had for it last Monday. How I should have heard something by now from the recruiter. How they were doing first round interviews last week and second round this week, although I had my doubts about round 2 being this week with the holiday and all.

Sitting down and writing a blog entry would have forced me to think about the job search and this particular job. But I have vowed to share it all with you and so there it is, this gaping, oozing job search wound. Why haven't they called? I felt it went so well and I was there for an hour which the recruiter thought was a GREAT sign. I sent the requisite thank you letter. I really thought they felt they couldn't live without me.

Now that I've aired it out with you, I'm going to put the band aid back on. I'll still feel it pull and throb as I go about my chores today and sometimes it'll be all I can think about. OK, most of the time.

I'll keep you posted. I promise.

Is That A Tissue In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

I cannot stress enough the importance in going through clothes' pockets before throwing them in the washer. Not to look for your spouse's receipts of an afternoon delight, but to make sure all the tissues are out of the pockets.

Not doing so could result in disaster.

An Early Christmas Carol

Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat,
Please to put a penny,
In Sister Rain's hat.

I am so sick and tired of thinking and worrying about money.

Can I get an "Amen!"?

Waiting and the Wardrobe

I had an interview today with a company that was arranged by a recruiter. I was in the interview for an hour and I think it went really well. But I have rarely left an interview feeling like it didn't go well, so I can't rely on my gut in these instances. As with most things, only time will tell.

I can't help but feel excited -- at least as excited as I let myself be which is a mighty pared-down version of what 'excited' usually looks like in my world -- because it seemed to have gone so well and I think the job and the company would be a really good match for my background and interests. I sent a thank you letter and have talked to the recruiter so now it's all in their hands and the great Recruiter in the sky.

I will put it out of my mind as best that I can. I just did the job search so I'm forging ahead like it's any other day, except for the suit and heels I just put away. If I've got to wait this out, I'm doing it in sweats.

Fatal Deduction

I have become a fatalist and it's all based around the issue of money. If we have a leaky faucet I am convinced that we need all new plumbing in our house. If the refrigerator makes a new noise I just know it needs to be replaced. Yesterday, I reached an all-time high. Or low.

This is probably going to sound strange, but I rarely see my husband's car. One of us parks in the garage behind our house and the other out front. When we go somewhere together, we take my car. Yesterday, however, I pulled up behind him out front and noticed this round hole in his back taillight. I went in the house and asked him if his back taillight had been shot out; that it looked like a bullet hole. I questioned this because he knows I've become a fatalist and I'm sure he keeps things from me because of it.

He said he didn't know and he looked genuine and then he raced outside to see for himself. I stood on the porch and heard these words:

"It's where my key goes to open the trunk."

Oh. My bad.

I guess a bullet would have shattered the entire taillight. I guess I was being stupid. And expecting the worst. Which could be considered stupid too.

I need a new attitude. Or a good psychiatrist. What I need is a job.

Friday Night Plights

Friday night, 6:30 p.m. and I'm doing my "long" job search which I do once a week and takes over an hour, longer if I actually find something to apply for.

I had a busy week and that's why I'm doing this on a Friday night. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am an old married woman with no social life. Did I mention we haven't had dinner yet or even thought about it?

I remember when I was single and in my early 20's a local radio station would play "Everybody's Working For The Weekend" at the dot of 5 p.m. every Friday night. I would roll down the windows and pop my sunroof even if it was winter, turn the radio up as loud as it would go and there was speeding involved as I left my company's parking lot.

I still play my radio loud, drive a little fast (in some people's opinions) and have been known to have my moonroof open (even our car roofs have moved on) with the heat on. But that 20-year-old Sister Rain could have never imagined this over-40-year-old Sister Rain doing the job search on a Friday night.

Ironically, I'm listening to iTunes on my computer as I write this and Leann Rimes' song "Life Goes On Is" playing. Ain't that the truth?

Not A Champagne Bottle or Noise Maker In Sight

I saw a posting for a job right up my alley the other day. The job was being posted by a Recruiter so I contacted him right away. After a phone interview yesterday, I went and met with him today.

Things went well and before I had even returned home after the interview today, I received a call that I have an interview scheduled for next Monday morning with the client who would be my new employer if they're smart. Ha, Ha. (Only somewhat kidding.)

It hit me a few minutes ago that I'm not even excited or feeling anything really. I think I've been so beaten down by this job search process that a victory, as small as it may be, is no longer celebrated. That in itself proves it's time to end this job search once and for all.

The Case of The Disappearing Job

Let me please recount for you the events in applying for a job I saw online yesterday:

> I find the job on an employment website.
> I print the job description out.
> I go to the company's website and find the job opening in the 'Careers' section.
> I try to log-on so that I can apply using a previously created log-in.
> My usual password does not work so I request a temporary password be sent to me.
> I receive an email with a temporary password immediately.
> I attempt to log-on again using the temporary password.
> It does not work.
> I try again.
> It does not work.
> I click on the "Tech Support" button and let them know my problem.
> I receive an email back from them a few hours later with a new temporary password.
> I go to the company's website and look for the job opening.
> It's gone.
> I check again.
> It's gone.
> I curse.
> I try again for you-know-whats and giggles.
> It's gone.
> I email the Tech Support contact back and let them know that in less than 24 hours the job has disappeared. Even though it was just posted.
> I tear up the job description.
> I write this blog in a cathertic exercise.
> There is more cursing.

To All Of You To Whom I Blame:

I am tired today. Tired of the daily grind of job searching and trying to not panic and still have a life. Some days I just can't bear sitting here going through employment and corporate sites but I really have no choice, I must keep searching.

I've found a few jobs today that look really appealing so I am going to apply for them next.

Here's a question. To whom do I address my Resignation letter when I am ready to resign from the job search? Uncle Sam? President Bush? The Elder President Bush? Presidents Carter and Clinton? One of them surely had a hand in this. Congress?

The "To Who" may still remain unclear, but rest assured the remaining part of the letter is drafted and ready to go.

"I QUIT!" will never feel so good with a little dash of "Take This Job And Shove It".

Willy Wonka Wannabe

I am doing the job search on Sunday afternoon and I always search on the entire state of Pennsylvania, instead of my zip code, as to not limit myself. I'm close to Philadelphia and Allentown and points in between and around and don't want to miss any opportunities.

So I'm scrolling through the new jobs on one employment website, and there, amidst the pharmaceutical and law office positions, was this:

Marketing Manager - Chocolate Innovation
The Hershey Company - Hershey, PA

Oh, how my heart skipped a beat! Oh, how the Oompa Loompa song played in my head! Oh, how my mouth began to water! Oh, how the Hershey Park theme song played in my head! Oh, how I realized I live 100 miles from Hershey! Oh, how I realized I'm not qualified for the position!

Paying My Dues . . . 20 Years Later

I read a book recently, fiction, about Hollywood. It got me to thinking how actors and actresses stereotypically work as waiters and waitresses, respectively, until they get their "big break". It used to be that acting was one of the hardest professions to break into.

Until now.

Now, ANY profession is difficult to break into, even if you've been in that profession for years. People with MBA's are taking clerical positions. People who should be the ones with the most seniority in an organization are being brought into entry-level positions.

I have always said I could never be a waitress. My mouth and temper are too dirty and bad, respectively.

But waiting for my "big break", 20+ years into my career, I could very well be asking "Do you want fries with that?".

The F Word

I've been thinking alot about the question posed by Robert Schuller:

What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?

There are so many things really.

I would write for a living. I would open my own business. I would walk into companies I want to work for and get a job with them.

It strikes me that the things I would try are all career based. I never really thought about failing until I had been in the job search for a few months. I still don't think about failing in personal issues, just professional.

I'm going to give the question some more thought. Failure should never be an option but the reality is that it is. I may be middle aged, but in me still lives the girl who got straight A's in school. I never saw an "F" on an exam. I'm not ready to see one now.

You Be The Judge

How much blogging should a blogger do if the blogger is DISGUSTED?

When Life Hands You A Monday Like This, Spend Tuesday In Bed

I didn't get the job I had two interviews for. I honestly didn't want it, but I needed it.

I didn't get a chance at the job for the company I would love to work for. The Corn Stalking (click HERE) apparently didn't help. At all.

The San Francisco Giants won the World Series.

There really is no where to go but up.

What A Difference A Recession Makes

I had a phone interview this afternoon and it went well, but the salary is about half of what I was making when I lost my job in 2007. It really is amazing what a company expects as far as the responsibilities of the position and the salary they are paying.

I had anticipated a discussion about salary, so I did my research online for salary ranges for that job title in that zip code. I even low-balled it and still was shocked by what they are offering.

I told the HR person that I would still like to pursue the opportunity; that my first priority is to stay in my field.

I am so grateful to have received the call but I've got to be honest, as quickly as the balloon inflated, it deflated twice that fast.

Click HERE for the full effect.

Beep, Beep

I went downstairs, saw the answering machine light blinking, hit "PLAY" expecting to hear yet another political campaign call and there it was:

"Yes, good afternoon, I'm calling for Sister Rain. Sister, this is Jane Doe calling from Acme. You applied with us last week for a Marketing position and I'd love to speak with you concerning this position. Please call me at (123) 456-7890."

When you least expect it, expect it.

Corn Stalker

It's a gray but unusually warm day here for Fall in Pennsylvania. Today I may have crossed a line in the job search world but it's too late now.

I mentioned the other day there is a company I would love to work for who has an opening that fits my background and experience. I have applied as instructed on their website and I will make a follow-up call later this week.

Today, however, I drove to the company and drove around the parking lot. I tried visualizing, a la Oprah, myself driving to the employee parking lot, parking and heading into work, greeting associates as we made our way into the office. Since it's so dark out today, I pictured myself leaving for the day at night when the parking lot lights are on and snow is on the ground later this winter. I imagined myself at my desk inside working away.

What I didn't imagine and perhaps should have was the padded van coming to take me away.

Well, you can't say I haven't tried everything. Although I guess walking in and sitting down at a desk, a la George Costanza, would really encompass EVERYTHING. . .

Rainy Days And Mondays Always Get Me Down

Enough said

Feeling LOST Today

Rough day here. The Phillies are out of the postseason and will not be returning to the World Series. I'm also very down about the job search and its infinite impossibilities.

The weekends are hard on me because there is very little I feel I can do when the work force is off to move forward in the job search process. This is going to sound crazy, but I'm in a crazy place right now, but it's also strange even after being out of work for so much time, to not have the normal weekend chores to do because I've gotten them done during the week. I will live to regret thinking and typing this someday, hopefully soon, but it's the truth.

On a positive note, it's a beautiful fall day today. We have beautiful changing of the leaves and it's sunny and warm.

As when I left the beach a few weeks ago, I find myself wondering today when Spring Training starts next year, where will I be working?

The beach, baseball, the weekend -- it all comes back to this unanswered question.

I hate unanswered questions.

If An Engine Backfires In The Woods, Would A Meeting Planner Even Hear It?

Can someone please tell me how "Automobile Mechanic" gets on a list of open jobs that match my skills and interest that comes to me via email from an employment website?

Phew!

Sister Rain, M.D. (Mess Doctor)

I have returned to helping my friend organize her house. She has some friends who are interested in my service so she's let them know that my shingle is officially hung out.

I still am pursuing my career in Meeting & Event Planning/Marketing Communications but I can do the organizing until I return to that world and if possible, after. I seem to have a knack for de-cluttering and organizing (if I do say so myself and it looks like I just did).

It's not what I planned for myself or ever really imagined, but when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. And when life hands you clutter, buy some trash bags and give me a call. Even you Snoopy.

Inspiration In A Coffee Cup Sleeve

I LOVE COFFEE!!! Plain old coffee with a little cream and one Sweet'N Low is my daily drink but occasionally I love a treat of a Cafe Mocha or a Frappuccino.

For some reason, my husband and I just can't make decent coffee at home. We've tried using bottled water, we've tried different combinations of water and coffee and we just never get it right. This afternoon I was home and cold and felt like a cup of coffee so I tried to make a pot and it was a disaster.

The closest Starbucks is 10 miles from my home but we have a local coffee shop about 4 miles away. I love its atmosphere. There are always people there on their laptops and having business meetings. They're all "hip" and sometimes young (sigh) and stylish. They are who I want to be (the young part might be a challenge) and sitting there people-watching inspires me to be creative, to continue the fight to return to my career.

People scoff at a $4 cup of coffee and most days I'll agree it's crazy. But today $4 got me a Cafe Mocha. With a dollop of whipped cream and inspiration on top.


(Don't you love the word "dollop"?)

Meow? Woof?

Hello Friends. I'm sorry I haven't posted regularly lately. I don't want to post just for the sake of posting, but I also make a conscious effort to write everyday. The problem is, there's not much been going on in my Job Search World the last few weeks. Obviously, this is a bigger problem than not having something to write about.

I'm doing the job search now and have found a few jobs. One is with a company that is in my top 3 companies I'd like to work for so I'm going to go after it with passion and professional aggression. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!

The question is, how do I approach this? I've tried sending my resume and cover letter directly to the HR person if I can determine who that is. I've tried dropping off my information in person. I've even mailed my cover letter and resume in via U.S. mail! Anything to set me apart.

Growling sure would set me apart but probably not the way I'd like . . .

It's That Time Of The Season

I am a huge Philadelphia Phillies fan and they lost to the San Francisco Giants last night in Game 1 of a best-of-7 series. I am feeling down today, tired and achy. And bloated. And let's not forget irritable.

It's not PMS, but PSM.

I am a Post Season Mess.

SPF And DNA

I have been going to the same hair stylist since I was 16. I got a hair cut today and when I went into the salon, my hair stylist asked me what was new with the job search. I gave her the quick update which wasn't hard since there is no update.

Another girl shampooed my hair while my stylist finished with her customer before me. I had never seen this woman before but as she was laying me back into the sink she said, "I heard what you said so I realize this might not be relevant right now, but I'm an aesthetician here and if you ever want a facial or have any skin concerns I am here."

I just got back from the New Jersey shore a few days ago and the weather was so nice I was able to go to the beach. One look at me and it's clear I think SPF stands for Sun Per Foot. Don't judge me, my Tanorexia is hereditary; my Mom is Tanorexic.*

Being unemployed has nothing to do with me not going to an aesthetician. DNA does.



* As much as I enjoy the sun, I don't fake tan and find the orange Oompa Loompa look highly ridiculous. Rest assured in the coming winter months I will return to my natural pasty, Pennsylvania white.

Crunch Time

When I was waking up this morning, in that land between sleep and awake, I realized that my abs were really hurting. In my drowsy state, I thought how glad I was that I could feel that pain because it must mean my working out was really paying off.

Then I fully woke up and realized I had not worked out for months. Unless you count coughing so hard your internal organs are shaken around like the faux flakes in a snow globe.

Apparently my abs do.

The Only Similarity Is That We're Both Women?

I am still fighting this cold that arrived 8 days ago. Let's just say that I am not at the top of the podium in the winner's circle in this battle.

I am not feeling like myself which leads to the question:

If I can't feel like myself why can't I feel like Jennifer Aniston?

Instead, I am a jobless, congested, gravelling voiced version of myself. Who will NOT be appearing in GC anytime soon. Or never.

Death, Taxes And The Ocean

I have been away with my Mom for a long weekend trip to my beloved New Jersey shore for an Indian Summer Weekend festival. The weather was gorgeous! It was our last overnight trip to the beach for the year so today's goodbyes were a little difficult.

I stood at the boardwalk railing today and asked myself and the ocean too where in the world I'll be working the next time I return? The ocean had no answer but it promised to be there next year no matter where I'm working and the year after that and the year after that . . .

Not much you can count on these days but I'm gonna count on this.

A Resume A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

My cold is better today and I am trying to make up for lost time. Doing wash, catching up on house chores, all the things I missed the last few days while laying in bed sleeping or blowing my nose.

When you're feeling that poorly, you really don't even think. It's all about getting lots of fluids and rest, just like Mom always said.

But today, as I'm up and about, the worries are back with my better health. Unfortunately, fluids and rest can't help with this affliction. There is no pill, no homeopathic remedy. No starving either (as in feed a cold, starve a fever, or is the other way around?). I'm beginning to think it's an incurable condition.

When did feeling better turn into feeling worse?

Is There A Limit On This Pallet Of Tissues Coupon?

Over the weekend we bought a Costco-load of tissues and we were hysterical laughing when I put them in our bathroom closet.

After last night's all night Olympic Nose Blowing Events, which, by the way, I won the Gold Medal in all three categories of quantity, quality and distance (don't ask), I believe Costco AND the tissues have the last laugh.

Dear Husband, You Might Want To Fumigate The Mouse

My day consisted of the following:

Achoo
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Drink
Try To Swallow
Pee
Job Search


There are no PTO or sick days when your job is job searching.

The Second Time Around

Having a rough day Friends. I am battling the beginnings of a cold and it's cold and rainy here today . . . again. I also am having computer troubles PLUS our beloved printer isn't working and we cannot do anything to breathe life back into it. The good news is I'm feeling so yucky with this encroaching cold that I'm not as concerned about the printer as I was yesterday.

Moving to the dark side, I had a second interview today for a job. I will simply say that if you were to ask me how a job interview went, 99.9% of the time I think they went great. Today was that .1%. I had met with someone a week ago and I knew I would be meeting with her again today as well as the Director of the organization. However, when I went into the conference room there three other people sitting there. OK then. Hello.

The questions they asked made me feel like that had doubts about me in the role. Which is fine, I get that's why it's called an interview, but why bring me back if you've got trepidation? It was not easy to get there -- I had to find the right outfit (changed twice), put on dress shoes (which I accidentally covered in powder while I was getting dressed and yes they were black fabric shoes), I had to primp in the car before going in (I ripped an earring out of my ear when it got caught in my hair brush) and I had to put my best foot forward (on a good day, that's my left foot).

It took me an hour to get ready, a half hour to prep questions and prepare, a half hour to drive there and a half hour to drive back. I was in with them for less than 20 minutes.

I don't know what to think. This was handled through a recruiter who I can't get in touch with. Did I mention I don't feel good? And oh yeah, in the three weeks since I quit working my feet forgot how to wear dress shoes and I've got a blister. On my worst foot so I guess that's something . . .

Do You Take This Man . . . To Costco

Today is my wedding anniversary. I've been married for 18 years, having married at the same age as Laura Ingalls.

My husband and I were at Starbuck's this morning, sitting at a table making a list for Costco and planning our dinners for the week so we could do our normal grocery shopping after Costco. A couple came and sat at the table next to us and the woman said to the man, "You read the name, I'll find the index card and you tell me if they ordered chicken or beef."

I looked up at my husband who looked at me and mouthed 'wedding'. I replied quietly, "It's the circle of life", referring to it being our anniversary and this couple planning their wedding.

I have no idea how old these two were; obviously if I think I got married at the same age as Laura Ingalls I have an Age Determination Disorder (the new ADD), but I thought this:

They don't have a clue. Little do they know they'll be talking about chicken and beef and 'what should we have for dinner?' for the next 60 years. They have no idea how hard it is. They don't realize that 'in sickness and in health' really means that. And 'for richer or for poorer'. I believe that should be changed OR amended to include 'in employment or in unemployment'. I wanted to tell them that when they're standing at the altar in front of their family and friends that 'Till death do us part' (aka forever) is gonna seem like maybe 5 years when in reality, it's a long, long, long time.

This is what was going on in my head. My husband of 18 years, well, I haven't a clue what he was thinking. My guess is he was wondering how many giant Costco bags of nachos will fit in our cart. After all, it's football season.

Yep, FOREVER is a long-ass time.

Yes I Did Judge A Book By Its Cover

I haven't even opened it yet but it had me at the title.

All I Can Do Is Keep Digging

Today we are having our carpets professionally cleaned. We have a wet vac, but it has failed to get the dirty areas clean and so has spot cleaning. A tip for you, if you ever buy carpeting -- I realize hard wood is the preference these days -- go black. Once you go black, you never go back and I swear I am talking about carpeting.

Since my husband and I moved all the furniture out of the rooms we are having cleaned, it gave me an opportunity to crawl around on my hands and knees with a dust rag and a can of Pledge to wipe down our wood baseboards. So much fun, especially in the rainy, ugly, 88% humidity.

I then moved on to the wood doors and it was there I met the enemy, The Splinter.

At first I wasn't even sure the splinter was still in my hand, had it gone in and come out? There was a dark mark but it could have been the result of the splinter having left the premises. My husband and I both tried to determine if the intruder was still embedded but we couldn't. He tried squeezing my hand from the bottom like that last drop of toothpaste (yes, he got his medical degree at Home Depot) but nothing popped out. I went upstairs and got under my bed light with a safety pin and began digging away. It hurt and yet I still couldn't tell after I scraped up some of the skin.

I had my BlackBerry with me so I quick Googled (God Bless Google) "remove splinter" and there was a suggestion of using baking soda. It did say, however, to do this only after you'd tried digging and taping and tweezering.

We interrupt this blog post for a Public Service Announcement: Click HERE for that baking soda remedy.

I continued scraping around with my safety pin like the archaeologists over in Egypt, hoping to uncover a small piece of the treasure, without disturbing it and God forbid breaking it into pieces. Finally, I saw the tip of it appear out of my skin and was able to grab it between my fingernails. At last, the Shard of Pain was exhumed.

Since everything in my life is One Degree of Separation from the job search, I looked at this teeny tiny shard and related it to my job search. Like the splinter, it's under my skin and it hurts. It's all I can think about and I've tried everything to dig out the job that fits me -- phone calls, emails, old-fashioned U.S. Postal letters (with a stamp and everything) -- only to have it elude me and continue to hurt and weigh heavy on my heart and mind. I've tried Googling for how to "remove unemployment" but there have been no answers.

Although the splinter didn't make me cry as the job search has, the splinter made me curse, it made me sweat and it made me mad.

Baking soda is not going to get me a new job. If it was, I'd be backing up a U-Haul to Costco right now. It's gonna take more digging and more sweating and a lot more cursing. I'm gonna need a bigger safety pin . . .

Why Did The Chicken Not Open Her Email?

I have always had this (some might say bizarre) thing where if I'm waiting to get an answer on something and the answer comes in a "package", I procrastinate opening the package for a long time. By package I mean if it comes in an email or a voice mail or some other message format. My reasoning (as irrational as this is I've still got reasoning) is that if I don't open it then I can still hold on to the hope that it's a positive answer. If I look and it's a negative response, all hope is lost.

Last night I sent a follow-up email to my contact at a company I am very interested in. I had a phone interview several weeks ago that I felt went very well and they had told me it would be a few weeks but I figured there was no harm in showing interest and initiative.

This morning at 10:51 a.m. I received an email back. Four hours later, it remains unopened.

Cluck, Cluck

Now I Lay Me Down To Job Search

It's almost 11:30 p.m. and I came up to get ready for bed but wanted to finish a few job search emails. I've just sent them off and find myself looking through job sites -- the same ones I looked through less than 12 hours ago. If wishing could make it happen, it would have happened by now and I would not be sitting here doing what seems to be futile acts a half-hour before midnight.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Ridiculous times call for ridiculous measures.

Searching for a new job is a full time job. This full time job calls for overtime.

Good night.

If You Accept This Mission . . . As If I Have A Choice

Another rainy gray day in Pennsylvania as far as weather goes but in other news, the Philadelphia Phillies are the National League East Champions for the 4th year in a row! Can I get a Woot-Woot!?

I'm doing the job search today and hoping and praying that something breaks. It's been difficult the last week trying to stay positive and to keep chipping away at it. Other than the mental scarring, it's almost like the 3 months of working never happened and I am right back where I was those 3 years searching for a job. It's as if I took 2 steps forward and 3 back.

I see the physical signs of those 3 months -- paperwork, my badge (this company was so messed up they never even asked for my ID badge back), new work clothes and shoes, etc. And I remember all the places I travelled to while in their employ.

And yet here I sit, in my home office, on a Tuesday afternoon, going through all my job search websites once again. Truthfully I never stopped looking but now there is more at stake as I need to find something soon.

I just realized that my beloved Phillies aren't the only ones who have a Mission October. Hopefully a "Mission Accomplished" blog entry is not far behind. For both me and my boys!

Word Of The Day: Bigfoot

Although one of the reasons I created this blog was to get myself to write everyday, the last thing I want to do is write for the sake of writing. The last few days have been filled with being busy with housework and other projects with the cream on the top always being my feeling of hopelessness and being stuck over the job search. The cream, by the way, is sour and gross.

Rainy and gray Monday here in Pennsylvania. I gave myself some time today to take a breath but I did get some things done. I even cleaned out email and was amazed at all the emails in my inbox and outbox.

The outbox shows all the resumes and cover letters I've sent to potential employers. The inbox is pretty bare in comparison, except for the automated confirmation letters you sometimes receive when you've applied for a job.

Your inbox should always be fuller than your outbox, don't you think? Or at the very least, my inbox should be directly proportional to my outbox. My inbox should be full of interview confirmations and offer letters in response to the resumes and cover letters.

Isn't there some scientific technological law for this? Or is more a phenomena, like Bigfoot or the Bermuda Triangle? Why is life so full of so many questions and so little answers? WHY ISN'T MY INBOX FULL???

The saddest part of this inane blog post is that I had to google "Bigfoot" to see if it is one word or two.

The Best Thing About The First Day Of Autumn

The season premiere of "The Big Bang Theory".

A Profitable Sign

I just applied for a few new jobs and I also (drum roll please) have an interview tomorrow morning for a position I've been working with a recruiter on.

On a recent flight for my JFH (Job From Hell) I sat next to a very nice lady who just took a job with a non-profit organization. I told her that my dream job is to be a Wish Coordinator for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, but the position's salary is not enough for what my husband and I need. I "wish" that it didn't have to be that way, but it is.

This woman was telling me that she's one of a few people in her non-profit who gets paid a salary and she encouraged me to not give up on the non-profit world. Now here I am interviewing with a non-profit tomorrow and I've seen the salary range and it's comparable to my requirement.

I've given up on looking for signs but maybe it's when you give up looking for them, they find you. Could it really be that simple?

Sister Rain Is Falling Down, Falling Down, Falling Down

Today is honestly the first "quiet" day since I started the-job-that-sucked in early June that I am alone with my thoughts. I usually love these days but this one is hitting me hard.

Now I am back to wondering what the Hell just happened with a little "Why? Why? Why?" thrown in for good measure. Lots of talking to God is going on today and frantic online job searching. I am back to not knowing what to do to change my situation and feeling hopeless about it.

I know it's better to keep busy and keep the negative thoughts at bay, but conversely, at some point you've got to have a breather to get yourself together. Instead, it's causing me to be even more "untogether", if that's even possible.

At this pity-party for one, I feel like the kid playing musical chairs whose left without one when the music stops.

Good Deed Of The Day . . . Maybe Even The Week

This morning I went to my local Hallmark store to purchase some cards. A lady, J, who works at this store was once my co-worker and she was there this morning with another lady also working. As I picked out my cards, I heard them laughing at the front of the store.

When I went to check out I told her that they were having way too much fun for a Monday morning. J then told me that they had found a mouse in a box they were unpacking and that they had taken the mouse outside. When I left the store J's co-worker was outside speaking with a customer and they pointed the mouse out to me. The poor little guy was so tiny and he was in this huge, busy parking lot! I took the cards out of my bag and spent several minutes trying to capture him. Finally I did.

I held the Hallmark bag in one hand and drove him to a local park. I felt bad separating him from his family, he was obviously a baby, but I figured he had a better chance at this park than in the parking lot.

I love animals. Do I want Baby Mouse living in my house without my permission? No. But I not going to let him get run over in a parking lot either.

Have a good life little guy.

A Privilege And An Honor

I apologize for not staying in touch. Last week was filled with helping my husband with a project for his work and then on Friday and Saturday my husband's family had a garage sale and we were there all day.

Yesterday was a great day. My dear friend L is a runner. When I say "runner" I don't mean she jogs a couple of times a week. She is a RUNNER. She has run 2 marathons and is faster than ever. Yesterday she ran in a 1/2 Marathon and my husband and I were there to support her.

Just like all of us, L is many things. She is a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a sister-in-law, an aunt, a niece, a friend. And she is a RUNNER. Running is her passion and she uses her gift of running to raise money for people with cancer and military families going through rough times.

L has given me many gifts over the years. There are the material ones which I use and display proudly and think of her and our friendship every time I see them. She has given me laughter and support and advice and hugs. No one gives a hug the way L does. She has given me love and she has given me me when I can't find me. And so much more.

Watching someone you love work so hard at something and EXCEL doing it is a privilege and an honor. I am not a sit-on-the-sidelines-kind-of-girl, but for L there is NO PLACE I'd rather be.

Hold On To Your Reality . . . With Both Hands

I certainly don't want this blog to become continual entries of quotes but last week my friend J sent this to me and I have not been able to get it out of my head.

"Things are going to change – that is their nature. One day you succeed, one day you fail; one day you are at the top, another day you are at the bottom. But something in you is always exactly the same, and that something is your reality."
-- Osho

I believe this with every fiber of my reality. So hold on to yours.

Discreetly in public of course . . .

Taking Time To Smell The Roses

I went to lay by the lake today
And I enjoyed the beautiful day
Blue sky
Warm sun
Light breeze

I even noticed the feel of grass under my bare feet
It was a great day but not reality

No drama
No stress
No job

That last one's a problem

God Bless America

My husband and I visited Ground Zero six months after 9/11. I will never forget our trip there nor will any of us forget where we were that beautiful September morning when everything changed.

This morning when I got up I thought I would blog about our experience visiting Ground Zero back in early 2002 but then we went to our 5-year-old nephew's soccer game. We were at the soccer field at 8:45 a.m. and I observed a private moment of silence and thought about all those people in New York City, in the World Trade Towers, the people on Flight 93 and the people in the Pentagon.

When I looked up I saw all the young children running around on this equally beautiful September morning. I thought about how they weren't even born when September 11th happened and I was glad for them that they had not lived through it. Of course, I couldn't help but worry what they and our country might face in the years ahead. I can't control the future, I must have faith. One thing I know for sure.

In 1814, when the Star Spangled Banner was written our flag WAS still there, after September 11th it IS still there and when these children are adults it will CONTINUE to be there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave
-- Francis Scott Key

AMEN.

PA Ink

These hotel pens are about the only thing I've got to show for my last 101 days in the worst job I've ever had.

Tomorrow really is the first day of the rest of my life.

At least I've got lots of pens to fill out lots of applications. If it were 1980 that is.

Drip, Drip, Drip

These last 2 days of employment are like a water torture.

What Is Wrong With Me?

3 a.m. in the morning and I'm watching "Keeping up with the Kardashians" and "Real World".

Why am I worrying about a job I will be rid of in less than 38 hours?

Turning The Page

Today is the last day of our long Labor Day weekend at the New Jersey shore. We are headed home tomorrow.

Tonight, after dinner, I did the job search on my work laptop. Truly, my laptop is one of the only things I will miss about my job. Oh, and the paycheck; let's not forget that.

I found no new leads really. As I drive home tomorrow, with each passing mile I will grow increasingly worried about my future and finding a job. I know that every time you return from a vacation you must go through the process of returning to reality.

As I close the book on my current employer this week, I look forward to the next chapter in my work life. Here's hoping that new chapter is long and not a short horror story as this last one was. A light comedy with some personal growth sounds just about right.

In My Opinion

There is nothing better than the feeling of warm sand between your toes.

The Last Hurrah? I Don't Think So

I am down at the New Jersey Shore with my Mom and my husband for a long Labor Day weekend. Many consider this the end of shore visits until next summer, but my Mom and I will continue to visit in the fall and then we'll be back in the winter.

Today on the beach I saw a very sad site. Some broken beach chairs were left by the trash cans as they had seen their last day of being unfolded and set in the sand. I realize there is no sense in taking a broken beach chair home and perhaps the proper place to leave it is in the sand.

I got to wondering:

Where do beach chairs go when they die?

I believe they go to Heaven, where the angels sit in them and watch the waves and the ocean.

For there is no doubt the ocean is in Heaven.

And the broken beach chairs aren't broken anymore and they sit in the sand again.

Friday Before Labor Day Potpourri

I am doing the job search and some work work while listening to iTunes on my computer. I never think to play music while working at home but today I have it cranked and am singing along. Another small sign that I am coming out of the dark (Thank you Gloria Estefan) and returning to the Sister Rain I want to be.

*****************************

Today we are planting a tree that we recently bought. We are NOT outside/landscaping kind of people, but I saw one of these in all its blooming glory and had to have one. Ours is a youngen but it'll be fun to watch it grow. BTW, it's a crape myrtle.

*****************************

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
-- George Eliot

(Ironically, George Eliot was born Mary Anne Evans. She was an English novelist and one of the leading writers of the Victorian era.

She used a male pen name, she said, to ensure that her works were taken seriously. Female authors were published under their own names during Eliot's life, but she wanted to ensure that she was not seen as merely a writer of lighthearted romances. An additional factor in her use of a pen name may have been a desire to shield her private life from public scrutiny and to prevent scandals attending her relationship with the married George Henry Lewes, with whom she lived for over 20 years.

There is your literature lesson of the day. You're welcome.)

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I told you it was a potpourri. If only this could be a Scratch 'N Sniff blog . . .

Oh Where Oh Where Will I Wear You Again?

Today was spent going through my work computer files and emails in preparation for my last day next week. I also did the job search and spoke with a recruiter several times who has submitted me for two positions. Here's hoping.

I also am doing some wash. As I was hanging some of my shirts that I wear to work on the line out back, I wondered when and where I would wear these shirts again.

I am staying hopeful and positive that they will be back in the dirty laundry hamper soon, but until then they are blowing in the breeze, waiting to see where we will end up next.

A First For Me

I am back from the last business trip I will go on for my current employer and although I was in Ohio, if you ask me where I REALLY was I'd have to say Hell. The trip only solidified my decision to resign last week and I know without a doubt it was absolutely positively the right thing to do. Not that I had second thoughts before I went to Hell on Sunday night.

Tonight I am back doing the job search and what do I see but my current job posted. I have never seen this before with any of the jobs I've moved on from so it was very strange and like a traffic accident, I was kind of horrified but also I couldn't look away. It sat there, MY title, MY job, but I never looked any further than the title. I know what the job description says but more importantly, I know what the job really is.

I will not be giving the name of the company or the position but let me promise I am sending out cosmic signals to all my readers in the hope that if they are searching for a job, and they see my position, that they keep searching.

Save yourself. I have.

Have It Your Way; Just Not In A Hotel

I am in Ohio for a few days for work. There are a total of 8 of us here from my company and after work today we were able to grab a free drink five minutes before the hotel's complimentary happy hour was over.

Then one of my coworkers wanted to visit Graeter's, a famous ice cream place in the area, and I told her I'd go along. We met in the hotel lobby where we asked the front desk if the shuttle would take us to Graeter's but it couldn't. The two people working the front desk told us they didn't think the ice cream was worth the price of a cab ride. Now what to do?

A few pieces of cheese were all that I'd eaten since breakfast at 8:30 a.m. so I was hungry and now ice cream was not going to be my dinner. I ordered a chicken Caesar salad in the hotel restaurant and told them I'd be back to pick it up in order to avoid a room service charge. They told me it'd be 20 minutes.

In the meantime, I wanted a couple of sodas for the next two days so I went to the vending machine on my floor. The machine would not accept my dollar bills. I came back to my room and did a few things and then went back down to the restaurant to pick up my dinner. It was on a large serving tray, which I carried onto the elevator and up to the floor below me to try for sodas again. This machine wouldn't work either.

Now I've got to carry my dinner tray back onto the elevator, up to my room floor, put the tray in my room and go back to the elevator to ride down two floors. The machine on this floor took my money, but the first two soda buttons I pushed were sold out.

I finally got two Diet Cokes and once again got on the elevator and came back to my room. I sat on my living room floor (I have a suite), turned on the TV and could find NOTHING to watch and ate my $15 salad. I had asked for the dressing on the side but it came on the salad.

Never underestimate being able to go to your kitchen and make yourself something to eat. Or your refrigerator. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, I'm gonna give my kitchen a big hug when I get home.

Probably Not Just A Sunday Drive

Saw this on my way to the airport today.

Yes, that's a chair.

And yes, that's 2 surfboards.

And yes, it's kind of weird.

Game Over

I quit the horrendous job today.

No new job in place.

It was that bad.

165 blog posts later ----->

Searching for a New Job is a Full Time Job

Another Life Instruction

This morning I have a phone interview with the company I told you about on Tuesday. I know that potential employers can smell desperation just like a dog can smell fear, but that doesn't change the fact that I am desperate. I just have to mask it with some type of vocal camouflage. The position really is a spooky match to my experience and interests. And perhaps its biggest selling point is that it's not the job I currently have.

I am also on the cusp of making a HUGE decision about my current career situation and so today's "Life's Little Instruction" on my calendar of the same name hit me like a smack in the face when I tore off yesterday's page:

Remember, there's never been a day when a million miracles didn't happen. So why not one today just for you?

Hope comes in many forms. Today it came to me in a $9.99 desk calendar.

My miracle will come in an invitation for a second interview.

Fingers AND toes, Friends. Keep 'em crossed for me.

Tip Of The Day

Do not call your mother-in-law and ask her opinion of you quitting your horrendous job without another job lined up.

You're Only A Day Away

Another day Friends and I was about to say I'm no closer to getting out of my awful job but I guess that isn't true. Each new day brings new possibility.

Today I made contact with a Human Resources person at a company that has an opening that has "Sister Rain" written all over it. I left a voice mail for her this morning, after calling the main number and asking to speak to someone about the position. I followed up this afternoon with my resume and cover letter. At the end of the business day I got an email back from her saying she'll give me a call tomorrow.

Three years ago my life changed on a dime with the closing of my company.

Three months ago my life changed on a dime when I finally accepted a job after waiting so long.

Three months ago my life changed on a dime when I realized on Day 1 this new job was a MISTAKE.

I'll put my sneakers on tomorrow and be ready to pivot in a new direction.

I'll stick up my chin, and grin too.

Bullseye

Today has been a busy day with work and other things I had to take care of. I had planned to do execute a full court press of calls to employment agencies to find a position I can take to get me out of the mess I find myself in. However, before I knew it, it was 6:00 p.m. and I never made the time. Terrible, I know.

Tomorrow I absolutely, positively have to make the calls and get out of my current Hellacious situation. I've got to find a window and jump out it.

With any luck, I'll land on my feet. Or at least bounce back.

A Rainy Sunday

A book is a forest.

Open it.

Step inside.

Get lost.

(Life's Little Instructions Calendar Volume XV)

But Why?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
-- Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)


(How cool is the name "Kierkegaard"?)

Where In The World Is Sister Rain?

I'm not sure exactly when the "finding yourself" period was for this country, but for Sister Rain it's today. I am off the road for about 10 days and have a lot to do around my house and for work. But today I've got to set aside some time for me and get back to what's important to me and what I need to do to change things for myself.

I need a little rest and a little TLC that can only come from within. I also need a new job and that's only going to come from within too.

Several people have told me today to take some time for me and they're right. The fact that I've lost sight of that for myself is a huge warning sign that things are completely out of control.

If you see me can you point me in my direction?

My Own Personal Spin Cycle

Pack

Go Through Hell

Unpack

Wash

Repeat

Rainy Days and Mondays Always Disappoint Me

I am on the road once again and so far everything is going OK. I think all of us on my team are focused on the fact that tomorrow night we will be back home and off the road for about 10 days.

I did a lot of work this weekend on the job search. I searched for information on contacts at the companies I've recently applied to and left voice mail messages for actual people, hopefully the correct people.

I did receive an email this morning from a company I had applied to about 2 months ago. It said:

Further to your interview* for the Meeting Executive position, we are sorry to inform you that on this occasion you have not been successful.

We hope you are not too disappointed with this news.

Wow. Don't hold back. Give it to me straight. I can take it.

I've not been successful. That about says it all in regard to this never-ending job search. As for me being disappointed, well, I'm thinking of changing my name to "Sister Disappointed Rain".

This is my cloudy Monday morning Friends. This is my life. Heavy sigh laden with disappointment.


* I never had an interview with them.

Red and Yellow and Pink and Green . . .

My husband and I were watching the Phillies last night and catching up on our newspapers and he read that Captain Noah was the Grand Marshall of Night In Venice in Ocean City, New Jersey a few weeks ago.

At the same time, without saying anything to each other, we both broke into song:

"Send your pictures to Dear Old Captain Noah
Send today, send right away . . ."

Not only do I need to get a new job, I need to get a life.


(I apologize to my blog readers who don't live in the Philadelphia area and aren't familiar with Captain Noah OR Night in Venice.)