A Love Story - Part II

Growing up, I had fish and a hamster. I found out in my teen years that I am allergic to cats and dogs. When I met my husband,, his family had a parakeet. This was my first experience with the avian species, and I was intrigued.

After we were married, we decided it was time to expand our family. We went to a local pet store as this was prior to the chain pet stores we have now. After several visits. we brought home a male lutino cockatiel we named Cato, as in the Pink Panther's "little yellow friend". Terrible,,I know, but I was young and a fan of the movies and their famous quotes. Cato was three months old when we brought him home, and we had him with us for 15 years. Cato taught us so much about birds, and we knew, one day. we would add to our flock once again. 

It would take 5 years until we were ready, but the one thing we knew all along was that our next feathered child (yes, we're those people) would be a rescue. 

To be continued . . . 

A Love Story - Part I

I have written about my husband and my friends, but there is a very special someone in my life that you haven't been introduced to yet.

We met three years ago, three months before my vision loss. We were just getting to know each other when I became sick, and there was a lot of work for both of us to do. He had some trust issues, understandably, and I needed to learn patience, never a strong suit of mine. He acted out a lot and was usually in attack mode, and when my husbamd or I reached out to him, we knew we were probably going to get hurt.

But we knew his story and we were committed to him no matter how long it took or how many times he caused us pain. He was ours, and although he didn't know it yet, and wouldn't for a long time, we were his. Forever.

What I didn't know when I entered into this relationship, is that I would soon undergo the most challenging and scariest journey of my life, and that he would get me through the darkest days.

To be continued . . .

I Didn't Know L.L.Bean Sold Grilled Buns!

Today two friends and I went to an outdoor mall. Living near Philadelphia, there are only a few days each year that are weather-appropriate for such an outing. Today was not one of those days. Temperature and humidity are very high and if The Weather Channel says "excessive heat advisory" one more time, I will have a heat stroke. I swear I will.

But I digress. One of the stores we went into was L.L.Bean. Two of us have been spending lots of time at children's sporting events, and we were looking at all the different kinds of chairs they had to offer. Some were too low and some had no arms or no cup holders. Then I saw a chair that sat high and seemed perfect for any Goldilocks. I told my fellow spectator she would be able to catch the breeze up there in that chair. 

This is the chair:

There were a few seconds of silence that I only recognized in retrospect. And then one of them said, "That's a grill."  We all continued walking. Of course once I knew it was a grill, I could see it. But with the lid open and it displayed near the chairs, it looked like a chair to me.

I'm sure they have both forgotten the moment, but I haven't. It makes me sad. I suppose that after having a visual impairment for 2 1/2 years it shouldn't, but it does.

The good news is that I didn't climb up there and sit on it. Yes, that is very good news.

Survey Says

My husband and I watch Celebrity Family Feud. Don't judge, it's summer and all of our shows are on break.

Last night, an episode was on our TiVo, so we watched. We like to play along. Don't judge, we've been together 25 years.

During the final round for $25,000, the question was:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself as the life of the party?

My instant response: 9

My husband's less quick response:  3

You can glean all sorts of info about us from that little exchange. Take your time, soak it in. 

By the way, the number one answer was 5. In this #9's opinion, this makes for some very boring parties. Conversely, it'd be too much for my husband. 

Which is another reason why we are hone watching Celebrity Family Feud. I told you not to judge. 

it's OK To Delay

I have learned many things since my sight became compromised, and today I realized that one of them is procrastination.

I have always been self-motivated and have always attacked my To Do list. One manager called me a "tactful bulldog". I received a nice raise that year, and I was assured this was a compliment.

Now, there is no boss, no client paying me to bring a project to a successful fruition. The To Do lists are now created by me and are just as long and ever-evolving. Most days, items are undertaken with the same intensity as when I was in a corporate environment.

With my low vision, I must do things differently now and everything takes longer. Some of these things I used to be a whiz at, but now no longer am. And on the days I am tired or a little low, that's when those items on my To Do list get pushed to the botton. I have discovered procrastination.

The bulldog in me, though, still lives, and therefore I know the stubborn and determined Sister Rain will overtake the procrastinator. It may take a good night's sleep and a new day, or it may take me getting mad and powering through.

The lesson isn't learning to procrastinate. It's learning that it's ok to set a task aside until you are ready and able to tackle it. Cut yourself some slack. This is one thing that's not ok to put off.

The Happyover

Last Night

Best Friend

Pedicures

Beautiful Summer Night

Cabana Bar

Delicious Martinis

Yummy Spinach and Artichoke Dip

Awesome Live Band

Any One Of The Above  = Happiness

All Of The Above =  Joy Overload

This Morning

Hangover?  No

Happyover?  Yes

Symptoms include face hurts from smiling so much and abs feel like you did 1,000 sit-ups from all the laughter. Also, feelings of love and gratitude have lingered. 

Epidermis Holy Moses

Since the change in my vision. I have been trimming my fingernails by feel. I have only ever had a manicure once, on the day before my wedding. My hands are in water all the time and I never polish them. I also have a strong aversion to nail files, just hearing an emery board in use is my nails-on-a-chalkboard sound and the feel of it? No can do.

With the arrival of  the video magnifier, I can put my hands under the camera and clip my nails at a high enough magnification that I can see my nails. It's awesome!

What's not awesome is after not seeing my hands with any clarity for two and a half years, seeing this:

Granted this is at a very high magnification, but yikes! There are some serious things going on on Planet Sister Rain. I swear I just saw a rover drive by. Either that or I've become a snake or an alligator, and no one has had the heart to tell me. 

If beauty is skin deep, I am in deep trouble.

No Fly Zone

What's worse than a fly in the house?

TWO flies in the house.

Apologies In Advance

I have been tired and out of sorts the last two days. I tried to write a post yesterday, but the serious one I started just wasn't coming together.  Due to the mood I was/am in, funny wasn't happening either.

Because I can't let it alone, I have to try to figure out why I'm in this state of mind. Possible explanations are:

• Heat
• Humidity (if you have experienced humidity you know it's not heat)
• 7 loads of laundry done yesterday
• 8 hours it took me to do the laundry 
• Issue with the washer
• Issue with the dryer
• Feeling left out by friends
• Waiting on other people to get things done
• Needing rides to . . . well, everywhere 

And always on every list:

• Vision loss

Vision loss isn't thrown in there for sympathy or justification for my crankiness. The fact is, before my sight left the building, I could get in my car and drive, with the radio blaring, and feel better. I could be at work or traveling for work and not be stuck at home with all its issues everyday. I could drive myself for a much needed pedicure and not feel my toenails growing longer by the second, because, I can no longer trim my own nails. My pending file would be empty because all the items that are in that file I would have done myself when fully sighted. The wash? I'd probably still be doing that, but I could be away on business and when I was, my husband had no problem doing it. Now that I'm home all the time, guess who has become the hausfrau she never wanted to be. 

Pity party? No. Just ALL of the facts. And right now, the facts have got me down. But as sure as the dirty wash always gets clean, and the SURF and TIDE come in and go out, I will BOUNCE back up again. It's just going to take some EXTRA time to WISK my blues away. 

'People' and Needles and Pins, Oh My!

You know you're old when you are reading People magazine, on the iPad,,while riding the stationary bike, and both your hands keep falling asleep.

Congratulations, Danielle Green

Danielle Green, a former University of Notre Dame women's basketball guard, was presented the Pat Tillman Award for Service last night at the 2015 ESPY Awards.

Eleven years ago while serving in the U.S. Army, Danielle sustained significant injuries in Baghdad, Iraq. To see Danielle's story, click here.

In her acceptance speech, Danielle said, "So, if my story leaves you with one thing tonight, I hope it leaves you with a challenge. Ask yourself, what's my purpose, what's my passion, what do I want my legacy to be, how can I live as a full human being?"

These are questions I am currently asking myself. Sometimes when I see people who have succeeded after a tragedy or a loss of something, I worry that I will not. But what I have to realize is, if these people could do it, so can I.

I will add Danielle's story to my arsenal of hope. Caitlyn Jenner may have been the most anticipated recipient at this year's ESPYs, but my star of the night was Danielle.



To see Danielle's full acceptance speech, click here.

Tool Of The Trade

Working on this blog at 2:00 in the afternoon is a perfect excuse to have a cup of coffee.

Not that I need an excuse. Or the coffee. But it's my romantic idea of being a writer.

And then I hear the washing machine whirring away downstairs. And the trash truck outside.

Romantic notion over. I take my coffee with a big splash of realism. And my blog.

The coffee is a nice touch, but I now realize it's not a requirement for putting finger to iPad. Reality?  That's definitely a must.

The Eye Of The Storm

The weather today is like the morning I woke up blind.

Dark as night and scary as hell.

Everybody's Working ON The Weekend

People think that when you don't work outside the home, that your life is one perpetual weekend. When I worked, I thought the same thing.

You know what I've discovered? It's absolutely true!

Here's the catch. It's not the going-to-the-beach or to-the-ski-slopes (season dependent) or long-drive-with-the-top-down weekend. It's the cleaning and laundry and yard work and projects and then more projects weekend. You know, a non-fiction weekend.

Somebody should write a song about THAT*


* Recognizing I'm old, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvSgFHzJIc

A Tale Of Two Lives

Prior to the world meeting Caitlyn Jenner, I heard someone say to Bruce that he will get to live two lives in one lifetime. This has stayed with me, and I was thinking about it yesterday. I believe I now know why it struck a chord.

I had one life before my vision loss. It was full of independence and time in my car, often with my late mom, and travel for business and pleasure, lots and lots of books, and a career, where I was a whiz on the computer and managed people and corporate meetings and events with hundreds of thousands dollars budgets.

And now I have another life.

As I figure out what this new life of mine will look like, the only thing I do know, for sure, is that it will be very different from life before my optic nerves were damaged. If by some miracle my vision is completely restored, there is no going back. You don't go through something like this and then slide back into the life you had before.

Bruce Jenner, of course, was very excited about his next life as Caitlyn. I have not been excited to forge a new life for myself, because I was clinging, for dear life, to my old one. In the last few months, my mindset has shifted and I no longer crave my previous career. (The driving, books and travel, yes.)

Two lives. It's either a blessing or a curse. I've stopped thinking of it as a curse, most days anyway, but I'm not quite at a blessing yet. I'll get there and my second life will be waiting for me. Hopefully I'll be 5'6" and 125 lbs. Now that will be a blessing.

Blog-Ready

I have been attending many of my nephew's little league games, and one thing I keep hearing the parents and coaches telling their boys is to be "baseball-ready". Little league is about more than baseball, life lessons are folded into a game that they love.

I need to be blog-ready, prepared for when ideas come my way. I want this blog to be successful, and I promise to secure my cap, punch my glove to create a pocket, check my position and find my stance. And ALWAYS use two hands. When the content comes my way, whether it's a grounder, a pop-up or a line drive, it won't get by me.

The nine and ten-year-olds aren't the only ones learning some life lessons.

The Start Of Something Wonderful

When my mom passed away three years ago, I brought home all her photographs. I didn't have a chance to look at them before my vision loss a few months later. Now that I have my CC TV Magnifier, I have begun to go through them.

Amid the many photos of my grandparents at the age I am now (WOW!), people I don't know, my mom when she was a teenager, then newly married, and as a new mom at 24 when my brother was born, I found one picture I didn't even know I was hoping to find.

I stared at this picture for a long time, enlarging the magnification to study my mom's face, then decreasing the size so I could see myself in her arms. At this moment in time, we couldn't have imagined what our relationship would become. Heck, I didn't even know where my feet were. But fifty years later, she is gone and what we became was wonderful.

This is the oldest photo I have of us together, and there's not another one of us until my teenage years. My mom gave me the gift of life, and so many gifts during our 47 years with each other. Now, three years after her passing, one last perfect gift.

I'll Show You Scary

Because I cannot ride the stationary bike everyday mentally, I purchased a portable DVD player for watching workout videos. I can put the player on the floor or dresser, and get it close to my eyes and see it well enough to follow along, whether I am doing floor work or standing exercises.

The video I have been doing lately is Mel B's Totally Fit. Mel B is a Spice Girl and her name in the group is Scary Spice. However, she is very supportive and encouraging throughout her video, and with her British accent, even the word "bum" is soothing and sounds like something said around Downton Abbey's grand dinner table. 

The frightening part of this workout is happening not from within the DVD player, but from the person viewing and doing it, me! That's where the terror lies. And with my American accent, there is no gilding the horror. Not only is my body getting a workout but so is my unbecoming language arsenal and thoughts only brought forth by misery. 

Now I finally understand why people go to gyms. This way, all the suffering is centralized. No such luck for my family. Spooky Sister Rain works out at home. 

FREEDOM

Date:

July 4, 2015

Time:

8:30 a.m.

Location:

30 miles from Philadelphia

18 miles from Valley Forge

The Scene:

Two hundred little league players, three hundred spectators, at five fields within a seven-field complex.

Hats over hearts.

All eyes on the flag.

The Only Sound:

Our National Anthem

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!

A Par-fect Day

My husband and I spent the day with our 9-year-old nephew. It was a beautiful summer day and the boys spent some time at the batting cages and then we all played a round of miniature golf.

I had not played mini golf in ten years and although I had decided days ago that I would play, I had no idea how it was going to go. How was I going to aim for a hole that I couldn't see? I didn't even thnk about all the hilly walking and crooked steps with no railings.

Without any prompting, my incredibly smart, intuitive, caring nephew went to the green at each hole and showed me where the ball needed to go. He also took my hand and let me use his shoulder when the walking got tricky.

I never made a hole in one, but I didn't do too badly, and I managed to stay upright throughout the course. One thing I continue to work on is learning to savor my achievements and not downplay my accomplishments. Today I did something I didn't think was possible, and it didn't even seem as hard as it was. Par-tly because I wasn't letting my vision situation stop me from fully par-ticipating in today and par-rly because of  a boy with a huge heart.

The Universe Can Be A Brat

I was recently at an event with a mix of family, friends and strangers, where people came and went throughout the day. At one point, a very close friend arrived unbeknownst to me, and was talking to someone else, about five feet from me. When we both looked at each other, I had no idea who they were because I couldn't see their facial features, and yet they had no idea I didn't know them.

Of course this person knows I am legally blind, but I don't look it and I get around so well that even people closest to me, well, they forget.

A few weeks have passed since the event and still that feeling is with me. It hurt that that person didn't know the struggle I was in to identify them, and I hated  my complete inability to know who they were.

This was a small moment of time within this huge journey I am on. But it seems as though just when you are finding your stride, you're at this event with lots of moving parts and doing well within it, when the universe taps you on the shoulder, with its thumbs in its ears and fingers waving at you, and it sticks its tongue out at you and says, "You have limited vision, you have limited vision!"

Sure, THAT I can see.

Hold The Pickle

Riding the stationary bike between breakfast with a dear, wonderful friend and lunch with another dear, wonderful friend is like a sandwich on the freshest, most delicious bread but with tongue in the middle.