Piper's DiSPAppointing Day

"That body scrub was a little aggressive!"

"Mani-pedi, please!"

"How could they miss a nail? I only have eight and
my hands and feet are one and the same!"

"What kind of two-seed operation is this?
I have been waiting an hour for my blowout!"

I am fairly certain the proprietors of this spa, aka Mommy and Daddy, will not be receiving a good review on Yelp.

I AM

My husband and I watched the Invictus Games a few weeks ago and we were very captivated by the fierce competition, the camaraderie of the athletes and the incredibly moving personal stories of the men and women of the Games.

The Invictus Games, if you aren't familiar, are an International Paralympic-style multi-sport event, created by Britain's Prince Harry, in which wounded or injured armed services personnel and their associated veterans compete. The above images and text do way more justice than my feeble description.

During one of the broadcasts, ESPN's Tom Rinaldi did a report where he said the following:

"To survive the darkest moment there must be 
a holiness in the spirit
and a divinity in the strength."

I hope that in my darkest moment, which was both literal and figurative, I had a mere speck of either. And I am so thankful that the brave men and women who serve this wonderful country of ours have huge amounts of both.

Star-Spangled Purchase

Today at Walmart, as is usually the case, the check-out lines were long. As I held my post with the cart in one possible queue, my husband went on a recognizance mission to possibly uncover a shorter line. He called for me to join him at his new locale, and our cart and I arrived at his side at the same time as another customer.

Seeing that she only had one item to pay for, I pulled back our full cart so that she could go ahead of us. I would have done the same any other day, no matter what her lone product purchase, but today, the day before Memorial Day, she was buying a new American flag.

Two Hot Dogs Keeping Their Cool

They say that most couples fight about sex and money. We have neither so we don't argue about those two subjects. What we do disagree about are a few things that come up over and over again. For 26 years.

One of the regulars, although seasonal, is air conditioners. Ours is not the common dispute over temperature but of the actual units themselves. We live in a hundred-year-old house and do not have central air conditioning. So every summer we install a window unit in our bedroom and one in our downstairs living area.

It got hot here almost overnight and it is already unbearable. My husband texted me the other day saying we should put the a/c in. I ignored him as in my mind it's way too soon. What happens is that once we put the units in, he wants to run them even when the weather doesn't require it. Also, we have such a short period of time to enjoy having our bedroom window open between winter and summer, and that's no longer possible once the air conditioner is installed.

Today it was so hot I honestly was beside myself. I kept telling myself, as sweat rolled down my back, that I had drawn a line in the sand and from said mark I could not budge. I am, after all, a Taurus. But I am also 51 years old and melting into a puddle on principle is a war waged best by the young. And to his credit my husband said not one word when I went to unpack the bedroom unit.

Turns out there's more than one old dog in this house who can learn a new trick.

Truth Is Harder Than Inspiration

I love an inspiring story as much as the next gal. Always have. Since my vision loss, there is more poignancy and gravity in everything that touches my life. Learning of a person rising above their obstacles now speaks to me in a way it never could have before my sight became compromised. I can relate to their journey, no matter the circumstances, because profound and devastating loss connects all of us who have experienced it.

This week a man with no hearing won Dancing with the Stars. I was amazed by Nyle DiMarco during the entire season and the fact that a person born deaf could win a DANCE competition proves that anyone can do anything.

Right?

Nyle certainly surprised all of us. We were captivated from the first step, the first musical note that he did not hear. He was fearless. He became a champion in an activity that is music wrapped around beautiful and technical movement. Nyle did the impossible and the woman in me who cried during many of his performances thinks that he is the embodiment of challenges meant to be nothing but conquered.

So how do I reconcile what my heart saw with the reality of what my eyes don't? Though I have accomplished much there are things in life I simply can no longer do. For instance, I can no longer see most colors. And there is nothing that will make that possible right now. I also can't drive. Now here's where things get tricky. Could I physically get behind the wheel of a car, put my foot on the brake, insert the key in the ignition, turn the key, put the car in drive, move my foot off the brake and onto the accelerator and bear down? You bet I could. But I wouldn't get very far after putting the car in gear before I hit something or someone. And no hard work or determination or hutzpah is going to change that fact.

I've got to tell you, the mere thought and typing of the steps involved in operating a motor vehicle make my mouth water. I yearn to drive again so badly there are no words to describe the want.

Although I still believe that a person can triumph over adversity, not everything can be fixed or made possible no matter what we do. This isn't cynicism, I promise, but a giant-sized dose of truth borne of limitations my anatomy, not of my spirit or character. And in the acknowledgement and acceptance of this difference, we prevail over the largest struggle of them all

Who's Bad?

Consider This Blog A Teenage Boy's Bedroom

Well, Raindrops, here's the thing. I was going to tell you about some of the work I have been doing behind the scenes to improve this blog but then it hit me. "Behind the scenes" is code for we've got a real mess on our hands and we don't want you to see it. Remember The Wizard of Oz? I didn't need to know what was on the other side of that curtain then and you sure don't now. 

If you have a brother then you remember when not only he but your mom started to close his bedroom door. Security should have been posted outside his room with the repeated declaration: "Nothing to see here! Keep moving!".  

This blog cannot afford a security guard or a bodyguard, lifeguard or guardrail. I'm all you've got to protect you from the complete anarchy that is only one flimsy green curtain and a Toto away. While you're looking at my front I've got your back. And you're little dog, too. 

They Once Were Lost But Now Are Found, I'm Blind But With Them I See

My ten-year-old nephew plays on several baseball teams and my husband and I go to as many games as we can. Since the sudden death of my father-in-law, we feel it's even more important than ever for us to be there to cheer him on. PopPop and my nephew were extremely close and he was at every game, as he was at all my husband's, then wearing the hat of coach (literally) as well as dad.

I am not able to see much of the action but my husband does an excellent job of play-by-play for me. When our nephew is at bat, I use binoculars and am able to see him a bit.

I have a nice pair of binoculars from my pre vision loss days, but when Dad died my mother-in-law suggested I try the various models Dad had in hopes one would offer me increased visibility. I found a pair that were about the same strength as mine, maybe a little improvement, and I took those. I loved the idea of watching my nephew play ball through "Dad's eyes".

Since last weekend's games I had been unable to find them. We tore apart the car and couldn't locate them. I was really, really disappointed. We received new chairs for Christmas and they came with lots of pockets and I had put the binoculars in one of the compartments and they must have fallen out.

Arriving at the fields this morning, we decided to look one more time in the car, but struck out once again. I suggested to my husband that we ask at the snack stand if someone had turned them in. While I got what we needed for the game today out of the car, my husband went to check if what we had lost had been found. He came back to the car, holding Dad's binoculars. I could have cried I was so happy.

Some Good Samaritan found them and turned them in. They are very nice and whoever picked them up could have taken them as their own. But they did the right thing and turned them in, where they spent the last week in a locked building, at the complex that Dad spent so many hours, thirty years apart. I'd like to think he had a hand in getting them back to me.

The next time you find something that belongs to another, try to get it back to its owner. While it may be an object to you, to the loser it can be so much more. Other than him being at his spot along the fence again, I believe Dad would love nothing more than for me to use his lenses to watch his grandson play baseball.

But who am I kidding? He may not be at the fence, but he's in every pitch, in every story. Just like his binoculars, when he's lost to us, we can find him at the ball fields. 

Cirque du Strappay

The only thing determining whether you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps is the strength of the bootstrap.

And guess who's the strap?

The Doctor's Office Of The Brave

I decided to finally have my knee looked at by an orthopedist. He examined my angry patella area and x-rays were taken. And then the doctor gave me the results:

You have arthritis. I didn't cry.
It's significant. I didn't cry.
It's in both knees. I didn't cry.

He gave me a steroid shot in the knee. I didn't cry.

I wanted to. Not so much over the shot; needles don't bother me. What does is another chronic condition. I know that I don't get a free pass in exchange for blindness, but I have considered crumbling a little more to ward off being given more than I can bare.

So, why no tears? This doctor was new to me and I read his bio prior to the appointment. The gentleman did two tours in Kuwait. And although another giant horse pill to swallow, I kept thinking about what he had to have seen. If there are tears to be shed, it's in gratitude for the men and women still serving our country and those who have returned and now walk among us.

Thank you, Doctor, for so very much more than the help with my knee.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Blog

I like to think of my readers as dear friends and using the term "Dear Readers" is so impersonal.

I think you deserve a name a la Lady Gaga's Little Monsters and the Seahawks' 12th Man. Actually you deserve monetary compensation for coming here but you're going to have to settle for this new title. 

Here it is:

<drum roll, please>

RAINDROPS!

I hope you like it and will visit often. SisterRain.net is nothing without you. 

Game Changed, Rage Same

For my birthday I received an iPad Pro from my husband. It is 12" iOS in size which helps me see content so much better and there are many options available in Settings for those of us with low vision. When he handed me this gift, my husband said. "I hope it's a game changer."  Twenty-four hours into use, it already is.

It has been both frustrating and exciting to set up my new device. Most things take me longer than they did when I was fully sighted and it is never more true than when I'm dealing with technology. I have always been a tech geek and with each new upgrade, each new machine, I am reunited with this great love, having been ripped from it when my world went dark. Each reunion reminds me who I am which is what our most cherished relationships do.

It's true the learning curve for me is now fraught with hairpin turns, no guardrail and oh, terrible vision but I have to remain calm, go slow and keep my road rage to a minimum. And I realize I am not only talking about meeting a new piece of technology but my entire life since my vision loss. All I have to do is replace "road" with "optic". The rage remains the same.

Crapft

You might think that being 50 with no children in the house and making boxed macaroni and cheese is sad. Or maybe the fact that I'm admitting it is sadder. But I assure you the saddest part is this: not being able to see the neon orange color once it's made.

Warning! This Post Is Pastorized

Always looking for insight into how people both think about and cope with tragedy, I asked a friend with a wonderful pastor what this minister has to say about bad things happening to good people.

Without hesitation, my friend said that Pastor D believes that no matter what a person must walk through in this life, faith will sustain them. That the faith a person has that one day they will see their loved ones again and that those who have passed are happy will help you to live the rest of your days on Earth without them. That faith in The Lord will get you through all of life's challenges.

This is obviously not a new concept to me but the simple yet certain way in which he communicated his unshakable belief, through my friend, was especially comforting. I have met her pastor several times, and he is more of an everyman than any other clergy I have known. He could be you or me and so, too, his faith.

This blog is not a religious forum but it is a place where I document my life, including trying to figure said life out. Remaining neutral, I will say this: to believe in something, in such a steadfast way, and to rely on it to get you through when times get tough, is something we all need and all should have.

TURN It On And Enjoy

I am obsessed with this show! It's on AMC on  Monday nights at 10 p.m. here on the East Coast. The third season started a few weeks ago and seasons 1 and 2 are available on DVD and Netflix. 

If you love American history and a great period drama, this is right up your cobblestone street! It's based on the book Washington's Spies: The Story of America's First Spy Ring by Alexander Rose (published in 2007).  

The characters, the costumes, the settings and the story will capture your heart and mind from the start. It's got everything and although you know who wins the war, every battle, whether of the musket and cannon type or the ones waged in the characters' psyches, will have you both needing a breather and wanting more. 

And it bears mentioning for the ladies that when you see George Washington, as played by Ian Kahn, striding into his tent in full cape, you will be left to ask: Abe who? 

A Bird In The Hand

In addition to being visually challenged, I also find myself at a hand deficit. There is often a comfy and/or sleepy parrot on one of my hands.

You would think that for someone like me, Type A and maybe even A+, this would be an annoyance, a burden. But what it is is one of the great joys, great blessings of my life.

Tame the savage beast? You bet he has.

Wishful Blogging

As long as my friends and family are in good health and doing well in the rest of their lives, then I never have to think about my wish. One hope, one dream, one prayer, one must-have this season and all those to come. It is: the full restoration of my sight.

And, yes, I say it just like that. I want to be clear to the wish, hope, dream and prayer granters because I don't want to just say "sight" and find myself with a new website, for goodness' sake!

I don't remember the wishes in my past, they were mercurial and lacked gravitas. (No, I did not receive a Word of the Day calendar as a birthday gift this weekend.) Now the wish has been decided for me, so ingrained in every fiver of my being that there is no consideration given, the thought is in my mind before the cake is placed on the table.

I never tell people what my wish is, for it is said that then it won't come true, I found myself wondering this birthday if they know anyway. And I think that they do. Could I guess correctly what the people I am closest to would wish for? I think that I could. And I realize what a gift that is to know someone that intimately. I don't take that for granted, but I sure would take my wish.

Hopey Birthday For Me

Big birthday weekend for me. I only say "big" because the number is going up, faster and faster, like the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney World once you get it really spinning. And equally nausea-inducing.

A birthday dinner at a Chinese restaurant ended with the traditional fortune cookie, a providence of hope or doom wrapped in an ever-surprisingly deliciousness. To my delight, my cookie held two slips of paper. I allowed myself to believe the odds were in my favor as opposed to stacked against me. It is my birthday, after all.

The first read:

A shooting star tonight will bring you good luck tomorrow!

Very nice but I would not have seen it. Plus, it is monsoon season here in Pennsylvania so no one is seeing any stars.

The second fortune:

The current year will bring you much happiness.

2016 isn't even half over yet so I like the sound of this one. No doom, just hope. Which is exactly how I want to start my new year. 

Knee-ly Done With This, I Promise

I apologize for yet another post about my knee, but honestly, the pain is all I can think about. Like when you tie your shoes too tight. I had a friend who swore that being laced passed the point of comfortable could give you a headache. Got ya thinking, don't i?

Today I share with you why leggings are for the young. Because there is in room in them for support braces, duct tape, ropes and pulleys or any of the other paraphernalia holding us old folks together.


#firsthandknowledge

Talk About A Vicious Cycle

I have never liked working out but I do it. It's the longest hour of my day and I determined a long time ago that when they made me they forgot the endorphins. So, why is it that the only time my torn knee ligament DOESN'T hurt is when I ride the exercise bike? It's not right, I tell you! I can barely walk but strapping my feet into the pedals and cycling for an hour is no problem. And the doctor okayed it!

So now the most painful hour of the day is also the least painful. And that is more messed up than my knee.

Cuddle(90)grams

When Piper came to us almost four years ago from a bird rescue, he was aggressive and always on alert. He was most likely going to bite you if you put out your finger for him to step up. 

This picture is from yesterday.  I was reading a book using my Merlin CCTV while Piper climbed from shoulder to shoulder. Settling down on my left side, he began to play with my hair and then charged into my hair and nuzzled against my neck. He eventually backed out and repositioned himself on the outside of my hair, sidestepping over my hair until he was pressed up close against my head. He hadn't moved for awhile and I knew he was either dozing or close to it. 

I slowly reached for my phone and gingerly lifted my arm, pointing the phone in my left shoulder's direction. I took a few pictures in rapid succession and gently moved my arm and phone to where I could look at the photos. Piper, eyes closed, was sleeping. 

I finished the book after a few minutes but continued to sit there so my little feathered boy could keep resting. I thought about when we first brought him home from the rescue, and how far we have come. A mere three months after joining our family, I lost my vision. The only thing I was worried about when I was discharged from the hospital, still unable to see, was how would I be able to be a good mom to Piper and would I be able to care for him? I knew that we had a lot of work to do; he had major trust issues and after being chomped on by his strong beak so often, his dad and I had them, too. I needed to make him feel comfortable and confident that his being bounced around days were over. He was home, forever. 

The details of how we got from there to here is for another day but I promise you will hear the story of how an orange-fronted conure came into my life right before my sight went out of it. How in my darkest days, literally and figuratively, he was the reason I got out of bed. 

But today, it's about love and the full weight of that love pressed against my head . . . and my heart. All 90 grams of it. 

A Kneed For Support . . . And Pants!

Having my husband constantly telling me to put my knee brace on for my ligament tear reminds me of my sister-in-law telling my nephew to wear his retainer.

You see, it's difficult for me to pull anything on over the bulky brace, hence the reason my husband of 23 years is currently wearing the pants in this relationship.

 This hurts way more than the injury!