Taking Chance

Watched a movie I've been wanting to see for awhile last night:

Taking Chance is the remarkable true story of one soldier's death and a nation's reverence and gratitude towards its war dead. After hearing of the heroic death of a young marine in Iraq, veteran officer Lt. Colonel Michael Strobl (played by Kevin Bacon) volunteers to escort the remains of Lance Corporal Chance Phelps back to his hometown in Wyoming. Now, on a trip across America's heartland, Strobl will find himself on an unexpectedly emotional sojourn into the soul of a country mourning not only Phelps, but all of country's fallen heroes.

If you can, please rent it. You won't be sorry. A story, in my opinion, we all must hear and see.

Me and Phil's Shadow

I was thinking last night how anymore my days seem to be the same day over and over. I know we all have this, what with work and family responsibilities, but sometimes it's even more than a rut or routine. It's really like the movie with Bill Murray, "Groundhog Day".

Each day I get up and have some coffee and breakfast, then usually hit the job search online. I make any calls I need to make about jobs and usually am texting friends and my husband in between. Then I tackle any computer or household projects and get on the dreadmill at the last possible moment before my husband comes home from work. Then it's dinner, wash dishes and TV.

The most repeated part of my day of late has been the job search and the 0 leads. It's the same thing every day as I go through each website and it's very disheartening.

Then of course we've had the continuous loop of snowfall here in Pennsylvania. We're all familiar with the calendar date (I certainly wouldn't call it a holiday) of Groundhog Day where Punxsutawney Phil determines the fate of our weather as we move towards Spring. I find it no coincidence that Phil is a Pennsylvanian and am convinced his prediction speaks directly to us in the Keystone State. And as you may know, this year he saw his shadow meaning six more weeks of Hell, I mean winter, to endure. I pray this doesn't extend to my futile job search of late.

He's adorable but he's getting on my nerves.

Heavy Sigh

I was going to call this blog entry "Sigh" but I had to upgrade. For several reasons.

First of all, it's snowing again here. The forecast was originally 12"-18" but now it's been downgraded to 6"-10". In this case, I'm not sure that size even matters. It's snowing again, just as the snow had begun to melt from the blizzard a few weeks ago.

The second reason to sigh is the job search. Or lack thereof. There are still no job leads. I did my "long" search today and came up with nothing.

There have been some crazy twists of fate in my life and career that I really don't allow myself to think about because if I do, I'll go crazy. But I'm going to share them with you now.

I worked at a company for 12 years. I worked hard, got promoted throughout my tenure there and then I was put into a position I did not want or enjoy. I realized by doing Meeting & Event Planning at this company that this is what I wanted to do as my career. I can't tell you how great it is to finally know what you want to be when you grow up -- even if you're already grown up!

I knew I would have to leave this company after a dozen years to pursue Meeting & Event Planning. I was fortunate enough to land a job doing exactly what I wanted and so much more. I loved it! But 16 months after I started, the entire company was shut down. And you know the rest. I now spend my days searching and shoveling.

If only snowflakes were job leads . . .

You're Going To Hollywood!

I was watching American Idol last night and thinking about all the people who audition for the show each season. They say the number is somewhere around 100,000 each year, for one coveted spot, to be named this year's American Idol.

Wouldn't it be great if they could do job interviews like that? Employers say that they are completely inundated with resumes when they post a job due to the large number of people currently unemployed. Because of this, many resumes are never even seen just because there are so many coming in. I'm not saying a job opening would yield 100,000 applicants, but go with me here.

You know how on Idol in each city they hold tens of thousands of people in an arena or stadium until it's time for them to audition? Why can't employers do that?

Talent scouts and producers, in this case Human Resources Recruiters, would screen the big crowds in groups. Then the executive producers, in our example middle-management and associates, would audition a smaller group.

Next, a select group of 20 or so people would be judged by Simon, Kara, Randy and the guest judge. In this case the Hiring Manager and a Vice President or two. You would have a few minutes to tell them about yourself and to give them the 2-minute story of your professional experience. Maybe you have a portfolio to show them. Might I suggest a quick PowerPoint presentation?

They would then decide if you'd get a Golden Ticket. If awarded the yellow piece of paper, you would come back and America would vote for the right person for the job.

It's all about being given a chance.

To vote for me, call 1-800-Sis-Rain.

Limbo

As you may be aware, Winter weather has been harsh here and last night we had snow and ice once again. I don't pretend to be fooled by the calendar flipping to March next week; anything can happen in March in Pennsylvania and it usually does.

All of us in the area, understandably, are eagerly awaiting Spring and nice weather. We have all recovered from the holidays, for the most part, and are more than ready to let the door hit Winter on its way out. Many of my friends are booking their Spring and Summer vacations. My husband and I love to travel but due to my job situation, we have not been on a vacation since 2007. If I were working, we too would be making airline and hotel reservations about now.

I am super busy at home; still working on projects I would never get to if I were employed. And yet, the outside world seems to be moving on without me. I can plan for tomorrow but anything "out there", passed this week -- I just don't know. I can't plan on a Summer vacation, a 6-month-out doctor appointment, a color and cut at my hairdresser three months from now (that is if I had to color my hair to cover up, I don't know, maybe a sprinkle of grey?) until I know where I will be and what I will be doing by then.

I am, with much less grace than Gumby, in limbo.

My Weakness Is I Have No Weaknesses

If you've ever been on a job interview, you know they ask you what your strengths are which is usually a pretty easy question to answer. Of course, you need to focus on your professional strengths first and foremost but it's also good to throw in a few personal strengths since you, the person, will be doing the job.

Now the weaknesses question -- and yes, they usually make it plural -- that's a tough one. You certainly don't want to act like you are perfect and have none, and yet what weaknesses won't be twisted around to totally kick you out of the running? "My weakness is I have no weaknesses" is not gonna fly. Not that I know from experience . . .

One of my weaknesses is that I am loyal to a fault. If I have a manager whom I believe in and respect, I go to the ends of the earth for them, shy of illegal or immoral activity. I am the same way with my loved ones and the same way with music or Broadway shows that I like. It's not intentional but if someone or something floats my boat in a big way, I stick with them.

A few years ago, my husband and I went to a concert and the opening act was a singer-songwriter from the Philadelphia area. I really, really enjoyed this gentleman and continued to think about his music during the headliner's performance. When we came home, I purchased four of his songs from iTunes.

Since then, we've seen him many times in person and I now have all of his CDs. I workout using an iPod and even though I have over 1,000 songs on the iPod, I stray to this gentleman's music a good part of the time.

We saw him this weekend and I want to share him and his talents with you. His name is Dan May. I could go on and on about his voice, his lyrics and his music in general but I realize that music is a personal taste. So check him out at his myspace page; I've included the link below. You don't have to be a member of myspace to access Dan's page. Scroll down a bit and you can listen to some of his songs right from his myspace page.

http://www.myspace.com/DanMayCD

If I were Oprah Dan's music would be at the top of my Favorite Things. I would have my elves come down the aisles and give you his CDs. But alas, I am not Oprah. I am Sister Rain, so I invite you to check him out for free on his myspace page. Enjoy!

As for my other weaknesses, I am sure if you keep coming back to my blog they are sure to reveal themselves.

All two of them . . .

Blogkeeping

When I began this blog I used a basic template and swore to myself that I would keep things simple. This blog was an outlet for my feelings during this crazy job search and since I love to write, this was a perfect venue.

However, now that a month has gone by, my organizational itches need scratching and this weekend I made some minor additions to the blog to clean it up a bit and make it a little "purtier" and easier on my readers' eyes.

One problem with this plan. The changes I wanted to make required me to do HTML coding. Now I can run a spreadsheet like nobody's business, if I do say so myself, but HTML coding, not so much. But I kept at it and was able to make the following changes:

• Green lines between posts
• The sidebar items, "About Me" and "Archives" now are separated
• I've added my email address to "About Me"

None of these things are going to rock your world I am sorry to say, but I'm learning some new stuff that, dare I say, could even help me land a job.

But trust me, my "About Me" is NOT going to change from "Meeting & Event Planner" to "HTML Coder" any time soon. Or ever.

Friday Potpourri

Things have been dark and stormy in my life the last few weeks and if I need a break, I'm guessing the readers of my blog might need one too.

So here are some miscellaneous thoughts, a virtual Friday potpourri:

○ Is there anybody more fun to watch than Shaun White? Amazing athlete, amazing person.

○ Is there anything better than seeing your country's athlete on the highest step of the podium while Old Glory is raised and the National Anthem plays? I think not.

○ Whether he's on the ice or on the dance floor, Apolo Anton Ohno gets my vote EVERY TIME!

○ The world is a big, beautiful place. The scenery they've been showing from the Olympics . . . MAJESTIC!

Leaving Vancouver and back to Pennsylvania:

○ Pitchers and Catchers reported to Spring Training this week; the rest of the players due there next week. Spring has to be around the corner. It just has to!

○ No snow here for four (4) days. See, I told you Spring is on its way!

○ A very good friend's mother-in-law is having serious surgery this afternoon. Thoughts and prayers go out to her.

I plan to work on some fine tuning of the blog's appearance this weekend. It's been over a month since I started this journey. I thank all of you who have taken the time to join me. I look forward to improving it, in baby steps, and will always appreciate you stopping by.

Dude Looks Like A Lady

I say that this blog is about the roller coaster ride that is searching for a new job and today I once again reached the top of the hill on that roller coaster and nearly threw up. My hands were sweaty, yet ice cold, and the tears in my eyes weren't from the wind whipping at that altitude but from wanting to get off the coaster and knowing I couldn't get off until the ride was over.

I wasn't really on a roller coaster, of course, but sitting in my home office doing the job search online while waiting on hold with Unemployment. Although I was listening to recorded announcements about unemployment while I was on hold, I swear I heard the clink-clink of the chain of the coaster pulling me up the track to the top of the hill. I waited for over 30 minutes, the whole time sooooooo tempted to hang up the phone. But I knew that since I had finally found the courage to make the call, I had to sit at the top of the hill and wait for it to plummet me down to the bottom. I was strapped in with no way out but to finish it.

Finally, my call was transferred to Dawn. I felt the coaster car lurch forward and we began our quick descent down the hill. I gave her my social security number, my name and address and date of birth. I told her that when I did my claim online the other day it said I was done collecting benefits. Now I was in that state of hang time where your stomach is up in your throat and your bottom is off the seat.

Dawn looked up my information as I held tight to the coaster rail (in this case my phone) and I realized my fingers were as white-knuckled as they were when I rode the Aerosmith Rock 'N' Roll Coaster in Walt Disney World.

And then, as my hang time increased, Dawn told me I was eligible for another Tier of Emergency Unemployment. I was in such a panic from the lengthy hang time that I didn't realize we were at the bottom of the hill until I felt my stomach return to its rightful place in my body. I was still afraid to loosen my grip on the safety bar/phone but felt the tears that had threatened at the top of the hill fall from my eyes in sweet relief.

I had survived yet another plummet to the bottom. I thanked Dawn profusely as my coaster car rolled back to the start/finish area. I am still composing myself an hour later.

Time to go give thanks. And change my underwear . . .

C:\Sister_Rain>Reboot

I am not one of those lucky people who feels endorphins racing through them after exercise. I think when God was giving out endorphins, he skipped me.

I have noticed though, that I get a mental clarity during exercise and it sort of lines things up in my mind that were fuzzy before I started sweating. It's certainly not a high, but it does clean out the cobwebs.

I just got off the treadmill. On a side note, this is a torture device but imperative during the harsh Pennsylvania winters when one can't get outside to continue their fitness routine. Although the machine is necessary, it is hated by all. A dear friend coined the phrase "dreadmill". Need I say more?

But I digress. As I was on the dreadmill, I realized that even though I've continued the job search these last few days, I have distanced myself mentally from the struggle. I've blocked off, locked up, pushed down and bolted the door where the fear and panic reside that I talked about yesterday.

I realized that I am unconsciously recharging for return to the full-throttle search where I give my everything to it, sometimes at a high cost. Because of that high cost, I realize I have taken a step back and have been subliminally soaking in new inspiration.

I've hung my Vision Board up in the spare bedroom where I dreadmill and focus on that as I step through the 40 minutes of torture. I've been watching the Olympics and really taking in all the athletes' stories of training and all that it took to get them to this highest competition.

Tomorrow the break is over. Time to put the fortification to work, to put me back to work.

The Heart Prevails

I used to be fearless. What I mean by that is I had a certain confidence in myself and my abilities and in life in general. I had had some difficulties in my life, but nothing more than any other person. But in the past, before I lost my job, little things and maybe even some big things wouldn't cause me to panic or think the worst. All my coping skills were up and running.

Now, the smallest thing can cause a meltdown. There is something wrong with the house and I assume it's going to take thousands of dollars to fix. I hear of struggles a friend or family member are going through and I go to the worst case scenario.

I hate this about my new self and I think I will return to the old me with a new job. But who knows? Perhaps this is the new me now and there is no turning back.

I think my unemployment compensation may have run out. I've not been receiving unemployment the entire time I've been out of work, but as the government has approved extensions, I've been eligible for them. As one unemployment associate told me during a call, "These extensions have been granted for people just like you in your situation."

We have money to fall back on for a few months with me having no income coming in. But Sunday, when I did my bi-weekly online claim and it accepted only one week instead of two, sheer panic and desperation were no match for my now-defunct coping skills.

I need to call unemployment and see what my situation is definitively instead of guessing or assuming. Me, the woman who would call anyone to negotiate a price or a contract, is now afraid to call and find out if I am still eligible for unemployment compensation at this point. My head knows this is ridiculous, but my heart prevails. And therefore the fear prevails.

I am disappointed in myself and my lack of faith. My head believes that everything happens for a reason and that what is supposed to happen will happen. I've told you before I am open to all things. If the career I have chosen for myself is to be changed, I accept that. I am looking for signs and not seeing them. I have prayed to my God and the universe that I will do whatever they have in store for me, I am not afraid of hard work, but I need to know what my future path is so that I can go forward.

If it's not time, well then I'm back to square one. And I have no way of knowing when the right time will be. All I can do is keep on searching not only for a new job, but for that confidence and faith that I once had. That is a much bigger search than the job search and there are no websites that will lead me back to myself. I want myself back, even if it's in a new and improved form.

Until then, my heart prevails.

Imagine "Mission Impossible" Theme Song Playing While You Read This Entry

I love Tom Cruise as much as the next girl, but the point of the picture is to show you what it feels like to be searching for a job. Barely hanging on and all that the picture implies.

And now that I've used Tom Cruise to get your attention, please read on.

Trying to get your resume read these days calls for creativity and lots of luck. With the amount of candidates going after any one job, I try to find ways to set myself, and my resume, apart.

Let me give you an example. There is a company that is headquartered in another state (not in PA) and they are looking for someone in my area of expertise in my geographic location. I've applied to this company for similar positions in the past and have never heard back from them one way or another. I apply online as they request but then I follow-up with an email to the person in charge of the department I'd be working in. Last year, I went so far as to send this person a Fed Ex envelope containing my resume and cover letter.

In mid-January of this year, this company was once again looking for someone to fill a position that basically matches my resume. Once again, I applied online and also sent an email to the department Vice President.

I belong to several job boards in my field and the other evening I received an email from one of the job boards indicating this company I've been targeting has 2 positions in my field. However, the only way to apply was through the company website which I have already done. Once again, I try to be creative and get myself noticed.

I decide to search on linkedin.com for a contact in Human Resources at this company. I find a name and over the weekend I call the headquarter office and try to leave a voice mail for this person using the company directory. However, the voice mail system keeps kicking me out every time I spell the name. Now what?

Next I craft an email with my resume attached and try an email address for this person. I have no idea what the format of their email addresses is, so I first try first initial and last name. Example: jsmith@acme.com. Immediately after hitting send, I receive an email back saying that this is not a valid email address. Next I try "jane.smith@acme.com" and what do you know, it works!

So now a real life person in Human Resources at this company has my information. What she does or doesn't do with it is a whole other blog entry.

Stay tuned and if you're the HR Generalist in question, CALL ME!!!

Now you can get back to Tom Cruise . . .

We Interrupt This Blog To Bring You This Public Service Announcement

I have just become aware of an item that is going to change my life and I am writing this blog entry for all those people in the throes of winter who were also, until now, unawares.

I have a hard time wearing mittens or gloves because I can't seem to do anything while wearing them. I can't pump gas, find my keys in my purse or text. Therefore, I am constantly taking them off and what is the point of even leaving the house with them if I'm not going to be able to function while wearing them? My hands are constantly cold. Wonder why.

The other day my friend Mary Anne came over and she had these funky looking mittens on and I asked her about them and she gave me a full demonstration. I was so happy! Since then, I've mentioned these to some other friends and they knew about them from the hunters in their lives. I'm not a hunter, but I was a-hunting for these new-fangled winter accessories!

And today I purchased a pair of "glomitts". What they are are fingerless gloves with a mitten hood that slips back over the fingers to keep your fingers warm and protected. The hood part is attached by Velcro. I love them and want everyone to know about them! (A picture is attached for your reference.)

I got mine at REI for $18. They are also called "convertible mittens" at some other online shopping locations.

So now my fingers are warm and toasty. The better to blog you with my dears . . .


(We'd like to thank the official photographer of this blog, my husband, who was complaining earlier about not getting paid for his artistic contributions to this blog.)

OINKs

I live about 2 hours from Atlantic City. In my past life, when I had a job and some extra cash, my husband and I would go to Atlantic City for the day and take a certain amount of money to gamble with and when it was gone, we'd leave.

Sometimes we'd lose enough to be invited back and have a room comp'ed to us. It was fun to get away for a night. Any time I can get near the ocean I'm a happy girl.

I saw a commercial the other night for Atlantic City and I got to thinking about those trips we used to make. It made me think how friends used to call my husband and I "DINKs" which stood for Double Income, No Kids.

I wondered to myself, what are we now? Well, we are One Income, No Kids or "OINKs".

And I think after the week we've had with the snow, the no job leads for 2 weeks, that about says it all.

"OINKs"

The Aftermath

Many companies were still closed today, allowing everyone to dig out from the 1-2' of snow we all received. Once again, our day of being snowbound yesterday was balanced out, unfairly in my opinion, by all the shoveling that had to occur today. But we did it and spent the rest of the day trying not to stiffen up or completely collapse.

I did a brief job search this afternoon and nothing new.

Tomorrow things will return to close to normal. Schools are still closed and the secondary roads are not that great. And there is some ridiculous talk of more snow on Monday.

Tomorrow when I do my job search, I will exchange "PA" for "HI". Yesterday I said I have no plan. There's my plan.

Mahalo!

Lots Of Snow, But No Plan

I live about 40 miles from Center City Philadelphia and the entire area is paralyzed by this latest snowstorm. It is such an odd feeling on a Wednesday to know that everyone I know and love is home waiting out the storm. It's like a holiday except everyone is not out and about. I am glad to know they are all safe.

The snow is falling hard this afternoon and the wind has kicked up and is blowing that snow all around. Most of our windows are covered with snow and if you can see out, you can't see very far.

I just did my "long" job search and didn't find any new leads. I didn't really expect to as most companies are closed today because of the weather. Knowing this doesn't make it any less disappointing though.

It's so quiet up in our home office. Normally you can hear cars -- life -- going on outside. I can occasionally hear the wind but nothing else. As I write this in the quiet and cocoon I feel like I'm in, I can't help but to try and figure out what more I can do to find a job. My friends and family (they're really all family aren't they?) would tell you I'm the girl who always has a plan. Well, in this case, I have no plan.

When I first got word I was losing my job, I had a plan. Lots of them in fact. Now I am planless. Plan-less and job-less, the ultimate quandry.

Perhaps when this giant snowglobe I feel like I am in stops shaking, there, in the middle of the snow, in a flake of its own, will be a plan.

A Little Lighter

I've been wearing my hair longer than usual since I've been out of work because it's easier to just put it up in a ponytail and go. It's been so nice to not have to worry about doing my hair, put on make-up or wear work clothes. Again, it's not all bad being out of work.

So I've let my hair stay on the longer side and have been waiting for the day when I get a job to go much shorter and have a better style than all-one-length-for-a-ponytail.

I found a style I wanted and today I did it. I committed to the new look and watched as my hair stylist razored away the one length into layers and angles.

Sometimes you just need a change. Sometimes you can't wait for something to happen to do something else. You just have to do that something else now.

I feel sassy. I feel lighter -- in more ways than one -- and feel like I took control of something instead of letting the job search dictate yet another thing in my life. It may sound strange, but even my hair style has been impacted by my job search.

Taking it back, a little at a time. Let this be the start of something new.

(I apologize to my men readers who will not, I am sure, understand this. Women and their hair -- it's a whole crazy relationship.)

Dam

Did ya see the commercial for monster.com during the Super Bowl?

A BEAVER GETS A JOB AS A VIOLINIST using monster.com!!!

Every single person at the party I was at gave me the hairy eyeball seeming to say, "Geez, a rodent with a funky flat tail and bad teeth can get a job as a musician and you can't get a job as a Meeting Planner"?

"No, no!", I reply. "It's really hard! With the economy employers are inundated with candidates for one position and they may not even get to your resume! Really!"

To which they all began rubbing two fingers together in the International sign of playing a violin, aka let me serenade your sorry story in a sarcastic fashion. Behind my back but I saw them.

Dam beaver.

Dam commercial.

I Placate Myself

This is my backyard yesterday. Yesterday we hunkered down and watched the snow out our windows and the local news stations on TV report on the storm; we enjoyed being house-bound.

Today was the punishment for that crime. My husband and I spent the morning outside shoveling snow. We dug out both cars, our steps and our sidewalk.

So now we are done our chores and getting ready for Super Bowl Sunday. I just did a quick job search and found no new leads. As always, I placate myself (sounds dirty doesn't it?) today by telling myself tomorrow is a new work week and this will be the week I apply for "the" job.

They say you should live in the present but it seems to me that most of the time I miss yesterday or long for tomorrow. I know that's not right but it's true.

I'll tell you one thing, I'm not longing for Wednesday. More snow is headed this way.

But June . . . now that's something I can get behind.

Walk The Walk

We are expecting a snow storm tonight into tomorrow. At first it was sounding like a big one, but now it's been downgraded a bit. I guess we won't know until the last flake falls (say that 10 times fast).

In preparation, everyone in the area's been buying groceries and renting movies. Making sure their gas tanks are full. It's what we do here in Pennsylvania. We're way heartier than people who live in California or Florida, but we're not as schooled in harsh winters as our neighbors in the Midwest.

No new jobs again today. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I thought when I started this blog I'd have funny stories to tell you about phone interviews, personal interviews, etc. Because let me assure you, things always seem to happen to me that are quirky and/or just plain ridiculous.

So I hope for all our sakes something happens soon. You need a good laugh and I need a job.

Remembering my corporate-America-ese, it'd be a "win win situation", a "good fit", a "milestone" and show that my "game plan" was "cohesive" and my "strategy" "supported" my "expectations".

I can still "talk the talk" and I assure you I can still "walk the walk".

I'm having flashbacks.

The conference room is spinning.

Make it stop!

I Can't Give Up

Today was another bankrupt day in the Bank of Employment. Not one lead. I really and truly thought that once the holidays were over there would be more opportunities.

I continue to hear the state of the country and the unemployment percentages. I know in my head that things are the way they are, but I have a hard time getting my heart to understand. Sometimes all I can think about is that I don't have a job and that for the time being there are no options.

Today, for the third day in a row, after checking my job sites, I found myself googling different phrases to find new sites to look for jobs on. Believe me, after the months and months of searching, there are no more. And yet I feel like I have to do something to get me closer to that offer letter.

I can't give up. If I want a job I cannot give up because one is not going to fall out of the sky and land in my lap. It's gonna take me doing what I've been doing, everyday, and continuing to look for new ways to search.

I've never worked so hard at anything with so little results. I have to believe there will a big payoff somewhere down the line. And then I can close my Bank of Employment account and start a retirement fund.

Margie

Again, no new job leads today. I am trying so hard to stay positive but it's a minute-to-minute struggle at times. I don't know what else to do. That's the job update for today or lack thereof.

I want to tell you about Margie. Margie is someone I met over 20 years ago at a former job. We were very close for several years but in more recent years have gone our separate ways. We would still email occasionally and kept up with each other's life through mutual friends.

Margie is 48 and yesterday, she passed away. She had a long fight with an illness but her joy for life never waned, even though she faced incredible obstacles and hardships.

Margie and I shared many drinks together over the years and many, many laughs. We saw Kool & The Gang together in concert one time and for years afterward we would break out in song and act out hand motions we had created to "Fresh". She loved to dance and I remember her on the dance floor at my wedding. One time, while coming home from New Jersey, I had a car accident and my car was undriveable. I called Margie, this was way before cell phones and GPS, and her and her mother came and picked up me and my mom in New Jersey and brought us, our luggage and our beach chairs home.

I had not seen Margie for a few years. This afternoon I got out some pictures and saw her soul coming through in her great smile and her beautiful eyes. My beliefs tell me her soul still shines and she is finally without pain or disability.

This one's for Margie.

Help A Sister Out

A few days ago we had Chinese food, and my fortune read:

"The problems of today will be buried by the sands of time."

I have always been a sucker for motivational, inspirational quotes although I have become cynical these last few years. But upon first reading the fortune, my natural instinct kicked in and I got excited. I just knew that this particular prophecy was brought personally to me by the Gods!

Then, reality set in. I thought about all the horoscopes and things I've heard or read that I was sure were delivered to me by the Fates. None of them have come true and so I wondered -- just when will the sands of time bury my problems?

I did my job search this morning and there are, once again, no new leads. The last time there was a viable lead was on the 28th.

I need something to happen. I need a job. I need to get back to my career. There are always going to be problems in life, but I am ready to move forward. I am ready for some fresh, clean sand.

This is the time of year when we have Nor'easters. Come on Mother Nature; HELP A SISTER OUT! Skip the New Jersey coast and blow some sand my way! Just make a left at the Walt Whitman Bridge.

This Is It

I am giving myself a little break today from the job search. What I mean is that I'm just checking a few sites, with the hope that tomorrow I can hit them all with some sense of renewal.

In the meantime, I am doing wash and undecorating my house from the holidays. Yes, I know it's February 1st. My husband and I both like to leave our decorations up for awhile so that we can enjoy them after all the craziness of the season.

This weekend I watched "This Is It", the Michael Jackson documentary. In my opinion, the man did not look like he was addicted to anything or needed anesthesia to sleep. He looked at the top of his game and out danced his backup dancers, all who were half his age! He sounded great and there was no doubt he was in charge of everything. The collaboration between him and his director, Kenny Ortega, was something to watch.

Talk about doing something that you love and excelling at it! Not only MJ, but his band, his crew and his backup singers and dancers. I feel really bad for all of them after seeing the time they put into rehearsing for the concert that will never happen. All their passion and talent just came roaring off the screen and I couldn't help but think about being a part of something like that. One of the things I love about my profession is taking nothing and making it into something. I guess that's what everyone does in there job though, isn't it?

I wish I could express just how ready I am to get back out there myself. To use my talent and skills to create something. To do a little moon walking of my own . . .