The Only Thing To Fear Is . . . Well . . . Fear

Somehow in the last few weeks I have been able to somewhat distance myself mentally from the despair that is my job search. I have never been one with the ability to "push it down" when strong emotions take over. I don't know whether it's been the fact that there has been more postings recently, but I have not been panicking as much as I normally do.

That said, I have quite a few resumes out there right now for available jobs and yet no one has called. The past few days have brought no new openings and with each passing day I can feel Fear knocking on the door. It really is amazing what goes on inside each of our heads isn't it?

I mean, even though the emotions of the job search have been kept at bay recently, that doesn't mean it's any less at the forefront of my mind 24/7. Is it a protective measure so I don't go completely crazy that I've been given a reprieve from the negative emotions? I suppose I shouldn't dissect it and just be grateful for the break.

Right now, it goes like this:

Fear: (Knocking on my mind)
Me: There's nobody home. Go away.
Fear: (Leaves)

At any moment, though, I realize it could go like this:

Fear: (Knocking on my mind)
Fear: (Comes barging in without an invitation, sits down, grabs a bag of chips and makes itself comfortable)
Me: (Cuddles up to Fear and lays down with it)

I gotta get a deadbolt . . .

Gray Matter

If you've ever filled out an online application for a job, you know the questions to expect while applying for a position. Normally with these online applications, there are questions they require you answer and some that are optional.

I have no intention of moving at this point in my life, so any jobs I find are in my area. However, one question I see all the time on applications is "Are you willing to relocate?". Yes or No. And this is ALWAYS a required question.

You never know what kind of filtering goes on behind the scenes after you submit your application. Does the computer whip through your answers and lump you into the "possible" or "impossible" category? If you say "No" to relocating, does that automatically make you "impossible"? And yet I really do make every attempt to be honest so why say "Yes" to relocation if I am not open to it? Would it be so hard to include an option of "Not applicable"?

As in life, the job search is not black or white. There is an awful lot of gray matter in between. I'm hoping there's some gray matter left in this ole brain of mine once this job search is over. But it's not looking too good.

What Would Dick Button Say?

I just finished doing the long job search and there are 4 opportunities I am applying for. It's almost like I've hit the lottery to have all these postings printed out.

Answering these postings is going to take some time. I never know what the application process will be for any given job until I start to do it. Sometimes it's a simple as sending an email, other times I spend a lot of time filling out an online application. No 2 jobs I apply for are EVER the same.

I'd like to think I've become an expert in the job search and yet I'm wondering if I can't really claim that title if I've not yet gotten a job. Does that mean I've failed? I suppose success is relative. I've seemed to have mastered the triple axle but can't quite stick the landing.

You know I'm tired when I'm using Winter Olympic analogies when it's 70 degrees and sunny. Forgive me readers and TGIF.

I'm gonna go and try and stick the landing on one of these jobs.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

OK, true confession time Friends. Today, I called in sick from the job search. I can honestly say this is one of the very few times that I let myself relax about the job search for most of the day. Weekends, holidays, even if we've done a bit of travelling, the job search is always at the forefront of my mind, even if there is logistically nothing I can do about it during that time.

Good friends of ours invited my husband and I to the Phillies game today. The game started at 3:00 p.m. so we headed down early to enjoy the beautiful day, the amazing Citizens Bank Park and our favorite team. The Phillies received their 2009 National League Championship Rings and that event brought back the excitement and joy that we experienced last year and made us look even more forward to the upcoming months of Phillies baseball.

Spending the day in the middle of the workweek with my husband and my friends in the warmth and sunshine while watching my favorite team is priceless for sure, but I would also call it "decadent".

Whatever you're going through in life, allow yourself a little decadence. Don't apologize for it and don't feel selfish about it. Close your eyes, feel the sun on your skin, the light breeze blowing from center field, listen to the crowd, the vendors, the crack of the bat, smell the peanuts and Cracker Jack (and no, I don't care if I never get back), root root root for the home team, and if they don't win it's a shame (they didn't).

And just like the Phillies, tomorrow I will do my job and step to the plate again in the game that is the job search.

What Was That Noise?

I applied for 2 jobs this morning after a few days of no new opportunities. There's been more activity than usual over the last 6 weeks and yet no one has called me to pursue any of these openings. Not only that, but I have not received acknowledgement of any of my submissions.

Which leads me to ask:

If a resume arrives at a potential employer and no one ever looks at it, does it make a sound?

I Could Use Some Time Off -- Ironic Isn't It?

One very important lesson I've learned while being off from work is that when you are working full time you really do have to cut yourself some slack. I am home everyday and still can't get everything done around my home even though I am on the go all day. I think because I am home I feel as though I have to get things done whereas when I was working I knew it would NOT all get done because of time constraints.

I must tell you, all of this is self-inflicted. My husband leaves for work in the morning and says to me "Try and relax a little today" but he knows me as well as I know myself so we both kind of roll our eyes at each other when he says that.

I've tackled projects around here that I NEVER would have gotten to if I was working and I still don't seem to be able to get to other things. When my husband comes home from work everyday, I sit down for the first time all day.

My husband works hard, make no mistake. But as we all know, sometimes during our work day we take a few moments to check ESPN.com or TMZ.com to give ourselves a break. Last night, the following conversation took place between him and me:

Husband: "Did you hear that Bret Michaels of Poison had his appendix out?" (Yes we grew up in the time of 80's "hair bands" AND we watch 'Celebrity Apprentice'.)

Me: "No, I didn't. While you're at work all day I am here, at home, actually working."

He started cracking up. I meant it as a joke but there is some truth to it.

I need a job for many reasons, one of them being I could use the rest!

A Gimme

Once in awhile, a gift arrives on your doorstep -- or in this case, my inbox -- and you don't expect it. I am signed up with several employment web sites to receive emails when new jobs are posted that match my skills and interests. Most times, to be honest, I've already applied for the position or in fact, the jobs aren't really what I'm looking for. Today, however, I received a listing of jobs via email and there was one job that is exactly what I'm looking for that I had not seen before.

I can't tell you how nice it is to get a job opening sent to you from anywhere -- a friend, former co-worker or even an employment web site. Considering how much time I spend searching for a job through various web sites, etc., to have one arrive on my BlackBerry today was such a pleasant surprise.

I realize I'm just applying for the job and I still have to wait and see if they are interested in me, but every once in awhile it's so nice to receive a "gimme".

(CONGRATULATIONS PHIL MICKELSON!)